For my first contribution to WERRRK.com, I get to chat with someone who’s never been interviewed by us before! We know her from such claims to fame as Rupaul’s Drag Race season 5 and World of Wonder’s Bro’laska, but she hasn’t yet graced our pages with her considerable presence (I hear she stands 7’7″ with her hair up to heaven).
Courtney Conquers: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Glamtron 5000 from the planet Alaska! (Wait….)
Alaska Thunderfuck 5000: Hiiiieeeee!!! Does every interview you do start that way?
CC: Absolutely. You’re globe-trotting with the Battle of the Seasons tour right now- has there been one show or city that you’ve enjoyed performing in the most so far?
AT: The fact that we are received like Motley Crue in the cities we are visiting is humbling, and the whole tour is such an honor and a pleasure. I’m grateful to be working and doing this crazy, bizarre thing for a living. I can’t pick just one city that’s my favorite… but I will say that the Midwest has really stepped their pussy up as far as devoted fans go.
CC: I hear you’re all together in one big tour bus. Is it going well, or have you all driven Michelle Visage crazy?
AT: Michelle is the den mother of the RuPaul’s Drag Race Battle of the Seasons tour. From her synthetic breasts, we have all suckled in one way or another. Contrary to the ball-busting, brassy bitch she plays on TV, she is a nurturer by nature; she is kind and patient and understanding, and she cares about all of her chickens deeply.
CC: Who snores the loudest when everyone naps on the road?
AT: Probably me. No, wait– Jiggly Caliente.
CC: What’s the hardest part about traveling for so long all at once?
AT: Like Bea Arthur says about doing a sitcom– you know your career is going well when your marriage and your home life go to shit. It’s very hard to sustain any type of normal home life when you’re living in a bus on the road. It’s also hard to do simple things like buy new shoes or do laundry. But that being said, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
CC: If your suitcase (or multiple suitcases… I’ve seen how much hair you wear in the show…) fell off the back of the bus right now, what are the three strangest things that would roll down the street?
AT: Well, I don’t wear wigs– I only use my real hair– so no wigs would be found. I think the giant hair monster made out of yak braids and umbrellas would be a bizarre find, and would probably scare young children along the interstate.
CC: You get to travel outside of frozen North America for the tour! Where are you most excited to visit?
AT: I’ve never performed in Paris, so that’ll be exciting. Also Canada is cool.
CC: What’s your favourite part of meeting so many different fans along the way? Can you tell us a weird or happy fan story?
AT: Well, the Drag Coven are perhaps our most devoted and dedicated followers. They’ve given me chocolate, underwear, shirts, and dresses that are very personalized and thoughtful. I love this one dress they gave me, which has pictures of Alaska all over it making bizarre faces.
CC: What’s your guilty pleasure snack for the road?
AT: Sour patch kids. Yum.
CC: How do you like to keep busy on long drives between shows?
AT: I sleep mostly. There’s something so comforting about the stacked coffin-like bunk beds on the tour bus. I close my curtain and it’s my own little slice of heaven. Now I understand why Sharon Needles spends so much time in coffins. But aside from sleeping, we also spend our time watching DVDs we’ve picked up at gas stations along the way. Worst so far: Sex & the City 2.
CC: Disaster strikes and all of your outfits are left at the last venue by accident. What do you do?
AT: I go to CVS or Rite Aid or Walgreens. I can construct an entire show from materials found in these stores.
CC: You perform a brand new song called “This is My Hair” on the tour, and I’m only slightly obsessed. Who taught you to shake your hair over a fan like that with so much grace and poise?
AT: I was performing “Nails” long before it ever had a video or a presence on iTunes, and I like when a song gets a cult following before its official release. So I’m teasing the world with “This is My Hair,” which will appear on my new album, coming out later this year. And I can only say that Roxxxy Andrews is the queen of hair flipping, and my meager attempts are an homage and a celebration of the excellence she puts out into the world.
CC: Where does your mighty steed Horsenacia sleep when you’re not saving the audience from hair monsters together on stage?
AT: In a stable.
CC: What can we all look forward to seeing you do after BOTS is finished?
AT: I’ll be going to Life Ball in Vienna. Also I’ll be ordering GrubHub from my home couch.
CC: What has been your most memorable moment so far?
AT: The whole experience has given me memories I will wrap myself in when the world gets cold. You’re angels. All of you.
CC: Let’s play a game. Please list the first word or sentence that comes to your mind after reading each thing (you have a limit of precisely 2 ‘stunnings’- no more)!
– Michelle Visage
– Willam and Courtney
– Canada (Gotta work my homeland in there somewhere! Don’t say moose…or beavers…)
This is My.
– Chin strap
CC: You have an album coming out this summer… Care to divulge any top secret information about it? (Just between us squirrels, of course).
AT: It’ll be cool.
CC: Naturally, I HAVE to ask about season 7! Who intrigues you the most?
AT: Miss Fame. Trixie Mattel. These are girls I’ve gotten to meet and I like them a lot and I can’t wait to see what they bring to the world.
CC: Let’s make the final question a deep one… What’s your biggest goal for the rest of this year?
AT: I’d like to continue to find the balance between my work and my personal life. And like Beyonce– To be happy.
CC: It’s been so nice chatting with you! Keep up the amazing work on the BOTS tour, we can’t wait to see what you come up with next!
AT: Thanks so much for talking with me! Much love.