Haley’s All-Star AfterParty: All-Star Variety Show

It’s the most beautiful time of the year, a brand new season of everyone’s favorite show RuPaul’s Drag Race! Oh, honey, it’s not just any ole season! It’s All-Stars season three, and the competition is FIERCE! Nine of our favorite queens from previous seasons are competing to join fellow All-Stars Chad Michaels and Alaska Thunderfuck in the Drag Race Hall of Fame. Wait, did you really think there was only going to be nine queens? Oh, Y’all wanted a twist?! Let’s just dive on in here.

First off, can we talk about the ode to The Handmaid’s Tale with Chad and Alaska in the intro? For no reason in particular, just want to let you know I was gagged. Now that I got that out of my system, let’s get into the goods.

First into the workroom was everyone’s favorite plastic doll, Trixie Mattel! She came rolling into the workroom on roller blades because of course, she did. Trixie felt that her personality didn’t really shine through on season 7, and though she’s found her place in the drag world outside of the show, she’s ready to bring her true self to your TV screen.

Up next was arguably the most beautiful queen out of drag, Milk! Notorious for bringing workroom Ru to the runway during season 6, this trailblazing queen is back… and she farted. She has blossomed in the fashion world post drag race, and is ready to bring her out of the box looks back onto the main stage.

Season 8’s bayou queen Chi Chi Devayne is back and still serving trash bag couture! She certainly has a brand. I’m not sure if it’s Hefty or Glad though.Though she struggled with producing looks during her season due to her financial situation, her personality shined through making her a fan favorite. This time she says she has her drag and mind together.

Fellow season 8 contestant Thorgy Thor pranced her way into the workroom next, looking like a clown and I was living for every minute of it. Notorious for her adorable lack of focus, she spoke highly of how she has her focus ready to go this season… as she lost focus trying to get a piece of hair off her glasses. Brilliant work, editors.

When I heard Morgan McMichaels say “Pretty good for a dead bitch” I about lost my mind. The season two contestant had a very public falling out with season 2 winner Tyra Sanchez online in which Tyra declared that Morgan had died. It was brilliant, by far my favorite opening line. Morgan is one of the hardest working queens in LA so naturally, when Trixie greeted her she said she felt like she was thanking a veteran for her service.

A-YO, SIS! Aja is fresh off of season 9 and back again for All-Stars. Just from her entrance look, you can tell how much she has grown since her season aired. She even confidently stated she is HD ready and Facetune free. Plus, she rode in on a scooter. How can you say no?

Seattle’s best Michelle Visage impersonator BenDelaCreme came in next! Her elimination during season 6 was a controversial one. She went on to win Miss Congeniality, even repurposing the dress she was crowned in for her entrance look. She is as quirky as ever and I couldn’t be more into it.

The dancing diva of both Texas and season 7 Kennedy Davenport rolled into the workroom looking like a human disco ball. She was covered head to toe in mirrors and sequins (Sequence? Sequined gown?). She is certainly a force to be reckoned with. We also got to learn that she and Chi Chi have built up a mother-daughter like relationship since the show. It’ll be fun to watch the dynamic between those two.

What’s in the box? Shangela of course! Third time’s a charm for season 2 AND 3’s miss halleloo! She really came into the workroom behind a Tiffany & Co. box. She looked flawless, and I know we’ll get some fun quotes out of her this season.

The girls sat around cracking jokes, speculating who could be next to walk through those doors. Nine queens seem like an odd number, right? Oh, Honey, you wanted a twist? RuPaul strolls into the workroom after the “ooh girl” and announces that there is a tenth surprise queen… and cuts to commercial. I’m sure you made a list of every possible option to fill that tenth spot. Valentina’s redemption? Adore Delano’s second chance? Dare to dream….Stacy Layne Matthews? No, in walks Bebe Zahara Benet, winner of season 1! I know what you’re thinking, wait, hasn’t she already won? Yes, but back in 2009 with the dirty camera lens. The fanbase has grown significantly, and it’s a great opportunity for her to share her craft with those who may have missed her season. Plus, she could be the first ever queen to be crowned twice!

Ru was cutting no corners with this episode. It was time for the queens to get reacquainted, and what better way than with everyone’s favorite mini challenge. Because reading is what? FUNDAMENTAL! The girls took turns reading each other to filth, and it was one of the best reading challenges in the history of the show. There were so many incredible reads but a few of my favorites included Trixie’s “Aja, you’re beautiful, you’re perfect, you look like Seal”, Dela complimenting Thorgy’s fashion since we only ever get to see her hand sticking out of the drain pipes, and Milk’s “Kennedy doesn’t have to look both ways to cross the street.” In the end, Dela got the much-deserved win!

For the maxi challenge, the queens will be putting on a variety show, in front of a live audience. Oh yeah, and the All-Stars rule from last season is still in place. Instead of the bottom two queens lip-synching for their lives and RuPaul making the elimination decision, the top girls will lip sync against each other for a $10,000 tip AND the ability to eliminate one of the bottom two queens. As they were discussing their plans for the variety show, they also decided to talk about what the factors for elimination should be. Most of the queens believed it was fair to go off of what the judges said rather than eliminating whichever queen they felt more threatened by. Morgan made the mistake of mentioning how she would send home the bigger threat. This would come back to haunt her.

On the main stage, it was time for the variety show! Shangela, Aja, Bebe, and Morgan all performed lip sync numbers to their own tracks. Shangela was hilarious and upbeat. Aja’s number was INSANE. She jumped into a death drop from a box on the stage. She is well known for her lipsynch style and she did not disappoint. Bebe performed a song about Cameroon, where she’s from. She incorporated traditional African dance moves and costumes for a fun and unique performance. Morgan is so fun to watch perform because she puts everything into her numbers. She had never performed to her own track before, and you could tell her nerves kicked in a bit. Kennedy and Chi Chi both did dance numbers. Kennedy is called the dancing diva for a reason. She was doing flips, kicks, death drops, the whole nine yards. Chi Chi’s dance number lacked the energy that Kennedy’s brought.

Dela and Milk both brought very creative numbers to the main stage. First, Dela did her signature burlesque meets comedy routine. I have seen her perform this number a few times and I was still cracking up as she removed layers and layers of bras with various nipple tassels attached. Milk stuck to what she does best, fashion! She was an actual paper doll, coming out in a nude suit and dancing her way into various paper fashions. I really loved it.

Thorgy and Trixie are the musically talented girls this season. Thorgy did an absolutely insane violin number. She’s a classically trained musician and an incredibly talented one at that. Somehow classical music and drag queens make for an incredible pair. Trixie performed her song Moving Parts and it was beautifully done. She has such a wonderful voice, and it’s refreshing to see a drag queen write and record their own song without autotune.

It was time for critiques! Vanessa Hudgens joined our usual judges on the panel this week! The competition is stiff, each of the queens has grown so much. Trixie, Milk, Bebe, and Kennedy were safe. Shangela and Thorgy stayed on the stage for critiques. Shangla’s only critique as her body suit and Thorgy’s was that she seemed to lack a bit of energy. The two ended up being safe. Aja and Ben found themselves in the top two, being praised highly by the judges. Ross Matthews commented that Aja had raised the bar completely from season 9, and Carson Kressley called Dela’s performance the Ukrainian Russian doll of bras. Morgan and Chi Chi found themselves in the bottom two this week. Chi Chi’s look was critiqued heavily by Michelle Visage, especially her choice of a flat jazz shoe. Morgan was critiqued for playing too much to the other contestants and not to the audience or judges.

The queens went backstage while Vanessa Hudgens lipsynched against a… porkchop? Hey, Porkchop! Backstage, the girls discussed the guidelines they’d follow for eliminations again. Shangela pointed out that sticking with what the group had decided to go by didn’t exactly work out last season. Still, they decided to stick to eliminating the queen who had the worst critiques by the judges. The top two, Aja and Dela, pulled aside the bottom two separately. Dela confronted Morgan on her earlier comments about who she would send home. When Morgan stuck to her guns, her fate was sealed.

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Back on the main stage, Aja and Dela lip sync to Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda. Aja was absolutely serving it! She was hitting every word while dancing her ass off. Dela took the more comedic approach, which was perfect because she was still wearing her nipple tassel bodysuit from the variety show. I loved every moment of this lip sync. Dela came out on top and had to pull out the lipstick of the queen she was eliminating from all those bras. She felt as though she needed to set the tone for the rest of the season, and eliminated Morgan.

I was pretty bummed to see Morgan go, and then I remembered this was All-Stars and there has to be SOME kind of twist. Of course, as she was giving her goodbye speech, a video from RuPaul appeared vaguely hinting at a possible return for Morgan? Will we get another two way mirror moment? More importantly, was anyone else genuinely scared seeing Chad and Alaska wearing their red capes behind Morgan in that last shot? I was what the kids would call “shook”.

What did you guys think of the first episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars Season 3? Let us know in the comments below!

For more Drag Race coverage, check out Chiffon’s season preview and Spencer’s Red Carpet Premiere Recap!

Be sure to tune into RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars Season 3 every Thursday at 8PM on VH1.

About Haley Van Horn 34 Articles
One small brushfire away from completing the Serial Killer Triad, Haley is a hell-raising college student and sports journalist. Calling the suburbs of the gayest city in America home, she's sure to bring it to you every ball.

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