Haley’s All-Star Afterparty: Handmaids to Kitty Girls

Hey Kitty Girls! Wow, this week’s episode was a DOOZY! No long introductions, we got a lot to cover. The three robed queens were revealed to us right off the bat. Morgan McMichaels (Eliminated by BenDeLaCreme), Aja (Eliminated by Bebe Zahara Benet), and Chi Chi Devayne (Eliminated by BenDelaCreme and Shangela). RuPaul quickly asked what we were all thinking, just three?! Nah, not just three. Milk (Eliminated by Kennedy Davenport) and Thorgy Thor (Eliminated by Shangela) quickly came running out on stage. The time has come for their revenge! But first, did Ru leave the iron on in her dressing room? No, she’s good.

Back in the workroom after Aja’s elimination, the girls were all mourning her loss. Aja’s personality was greatly appreciated in the workroom. We also found out Trixie Mattel picked Aja to be eliminated as well. Shangela and Trixie’s alliance seems to be in place. The girls addressed the criteria for eliminations, AGAIN. Going over everyone’s track records, they’re at the point in the competition where they are all in different places and it’s getting hard to determine how they will do the eliminations.

 

This week’s maxi-challenge is an audition to be in RuPaul’s brand new girl group, The Kitty Girls! Baby Spice and Adam Lambert will be guest judges on the main stage! Who better to judge a competition like this?! First, the girls have to make up a defined character, and then write lyrics for the debut Kitty Girl single. They were about to start making their outfits when RuPaul explained that another girl group would be auditioning. That’s when our eliminated queens enter in! They’ll be competing against the girls still in the competition. Whoever goes home, the winning eliminated queen will take her place! I was GAGGED!

The queens all sat down and exchanged kisses. Chi Chi quickly pointed out that the happy reunion would be short-lived, and it was. Thorgy jumped straight into asking Shangela about why she was so upset over her lipstick message. Shangela explained that it was because of the note Thorgy left Trixie. Trixie clearly did not want to go over this again, but Thorgy insisted they hash it out. Morgan thought Trixie left the note out to be shady. Thorgy was surprised that everyone saw it, because it was a joke just for Trixie, and that she shouldn’t have posted it. Thorgy then confronted Shangela about why she eliminated her. Shangela said Kennedy had a taller order in her challenge, but Thorgy called her out because they are friends. Shangela was upset, and Thorgy was still upset as well. Morgan asked DeLa why she eliminated her, and DeLa claimed it was both because she was the weakest and because she said she would eliminate the strongest competitor. She even called her a coward, because her critiques weren’t as bad from the judges. So, it was about the “rules” they set up. ALL THESE ELIMINATION RULES ARE TOO MUCH! Insert much needed commercial break.

 

Okay, back to the drama. Aja cleared her throat and confronted Bebe. She was upset not at her elimination, but at the fact that she accepted all the compliments from the judges on her look that Aja helped her with. Aja also felt she was talked over when they were talking backstage before the elimination. Apparently, everyone thanked who helped them on the runway, while Bebe didn’t even acknowledge her and then sent her home! Milk’s turn to confront Kennedy! Kennedy’s response? “I have a lot of reasons why I sent you home”, followed by a close up of Aja’s shook face. Kennedy thought her stalker character wasn’t funny, and Milk had read her drag and said she would have sent her home. Milk flipped the script and said Kennedy saved Chi Chi because they were friends. Milk and Kennedy both started crying when they talked about how Milk wasn’t genuine. Finally, Thorgy said “Let’s stop fighting!” and that was the end of that.

The queens split up into their groups and assigned characters. You could instantly tell DeLa was rattled from her conversation with Morgan. Throughout the competition, we saw how hard DeLa struggled with the eliminations each week. It really took a toll on her. She couldn’t focus on the challenge because she was so upset. Meanwhile, the eliminated girls plotted their revenge.

It was time for the queens to hit the studio with Adam Lambert. First up were the eliminated girls. Morgan “Bimbo Kitty” went first. Adam liked the lyrics but thought it was a bit boring. Aja “Lil Banjee  Kitty” SERVED her rap. Milk “Milky Kitty” also rapped. The current queens were up next. Bebe “Jungle Kitty” recorded vocals that weren’t exactly words. Trixie was a horny mathlete who needed to be hornier. She had a hard time hitting her notes and came off a bit standoffish. DeLa was the depressed goth girl. She was channeling her emotions after the confrontation she had with Morgan. She had a hard time giving her character a voice.

Performance day! One queen goes home, one queen returns. While getting ready, Shangela asked DeLa if she and Morgan got to resolve their conflict. DeLa explained in the confessionals just how much the job of eliminating a queen when she wins affected her. DeLa pulled Morgan aside as Shangela suggested. Morgan further explained how she was confused, not mad, about her elimination. Morgan also felt bad for coming for her so hard. Both parties apologized and the beef was squashed! Kennedy and Milk also squashed their beef, and Milk walked away with some good advice from the convo.

On the main stage, the girls performed their group numbers. First up was the eliminated queens with their song “Sitting on a Secret”. The top 5 performed their hit single “Drag up your Life”. The top 5 were the winning group. Since the eliminated queens didn’t win, they were sent to the back of the stage.

Judges’ critiques:

Trixie “I.Q. Kitty”: Baby Spice thought she was so cute and her outfit reminded her of Baby Spice’s wardrobe. Michelle thought the hair was a bit off, but Carson loved everything about her outfit. Adam shared how he picked up on a standoffish vibe from Trixie during the recording session. She was bottom three.

Kennedy “Diva Kitty”: Baby Spice loved the outfit but thought she didn’t bring the dive aspect. Carson said the hair was a bit too New York realtor. She was bottom three.

DeLa “Goth Kitty”: Adam talked about how he was worried about her, but once she hit the stage she killed it. Baby Spice asked why she chose goth, and she said it was method acting because she had a hard day. The judges loved her look and number. She was top two.

Shangela “Sparkle Kitty”: Michelle loved her look and the new way she’s been padding. Carson thought her performance fell a bit flat. Baby Spice loved her performance, and Shangela offered to be the sixth Spice Girl. She was bottom three.

Bebe “Jungle Kitty”: Adam thought every take during the recording was hilarious and was blown away by the performance. Michelle commented on her presence. Baby Spice liked her shout out to Scary Spice. She was top two.

The queens headed backstage while the judges gave RuPaul a sponge bath. The girls had to plead their case, some to stay in the competition, and others to get a chance to come back in. Kennedy talked about how upset she was that she was in the bottom three when she didn’t do bad, but she had the worst critiques and the worst track record. DeLa pulled the bottom three aside and tried to figure out how she was going to send one of them home. Bebe wanted to make sure whoever she saved had the fire to keep going. Shangela and DeLa had the sweetest heart to heart. The eliminated queens sat down with DeLa and Bebe and tried to convince her to bring them back. Chi Chi said she didn’t want to be the Roxxxy of All-Stars 3 and I couldn’t help but laugh. Ugh, I love her. Milk cried… again. How the heck is DeLa and Bebe supposed to make these decisions?!

Everyone returned to the main stage where DeLa and Bebe had to lip sync for their legacy. DeLa felt so strong in her convictions that she had to win the lip sync. The queens faced off to “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here” by Deborah Cox. It wasn’t a big dance number, but both queens hit all the lyrics perfectly. Bebe removed her wig, to which Aja replied: “you’re no Sasha Velour bitch, keep your wig on”. Incredible.

Ru made her decision, and DeLa won the lip sync. I don’t think any of us were prepared for what happened next. DeLa revealed that Morgan was returning to the competition! As a Californian, I have so much love for Morgan so I was stoked! But Y’all… when it came to the elimination… I was GAGGED! DeLa pulled a lipstick out of her bra that said her own name on it, written in white out! EVERYONE WAS SHOOK! She said she accomplished what she came here to do, was grateful for the opportunity, and felt like a winner. What did you all think of DeLa’s decision? NO MORE WHITE OUT!

https://pizzabills.tumblr.com/post/171435503614/gag-of-the-year

Next week the girls will be starring in “My Best Squirrelfriend’s Dragsmaids Wedding Trip”. Say that three times fast. Make sure you tune in next Thursday and 8:00 to see how it goes! Leave your opinions on the episode in the comment below!

About Haley Van Horn 29 Articles
One small brushfire away from completing the Serial Killer Triad, Haley is a hell-raising college student and sports journalist. Calling the suburbs of the gayest city in America home, she's sure to bring it to you every ball.

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