Reflections on life, culture, and the poor fashion choices of passersby, with just a little dash of shade. Join Poppy as she sips her latte and looks out on the world of gaiety, all from a cozy little booth in her neighborhood coffee shop.
Hello Pop Tarts! After having to sit at the bar for a few moments, I’m now at my usual table. Real estate at this particular (insert name of major coffee shop chain here) is a hot commodity, and you have to move fast to get a prime location. I’ve seen retirees move like Olympic sprinters just to get a table near the toilet.
This was a big weekend for yours truly, because my husband, Mack Diamond, and I performed in our latest show – Mack and Poppy in THE PATRIOT ACT – to sold-out houses! We had such a wonderful time, and our audiences were simply the best. We can’t wait to do it again, and we’re already planning our next musical tour-de-force. Stay tuned.
West Hollywood, however, was a virtual ghost town over the weekend because of the now-legendary White Party in Palm Springs. For the past few weeks, all the gyms, tanning parlors, and waxing salons have been overflowing with circuit boys – primping and preening like hyperactive peacocks. It’s been lovely to sit back and watch all that beefcake on parade, but this past weekend…ghost town. I was almost expecting a drag queen’s wig to blow across Santa Monica Boulevard like a tumbleweed.
Mind you, I wouldn’t be caught dead at White Party, Pop Tarts. Even though it’s after Easter, I still think white shoes are tacky; and if I want to stay up until 6am, hearing thump-thump-thump-thump and sweating like a pig, I’ll break out the Astroglide and give my cabana-boy a six-pack of Red Bull.
And speaking of White Party, it’s an unusual event when there’s not a porn star in sight in this coffee shop. I suppose they’re all still trying to figure out how to get back home from Palm Springs, because there’s not a single one here at the mom-…no…wait. Never mind. I stand corrected. Just spotted one.
As I’ve said before, you can’t swing a pink dildo in this town without knocking out three porn stars. Which is why I love it here.
And if you don’t understand how I could segue between White Party and porn, you’ve never been to White Party.
Is it just me, or is Joan Rivers starting to look more and more like Madame from “Waylon Flowers and Madam”? I know that most of you won’t remember who that is, so Google it. You’ll be glad you did. And you’ll see the resemblance. Only difference is that nobody’s trying to put their hand up Joan’s ass.
This week, I’m going to be premiering a new somewhat-regular feature to “Coffee Corner,” that I’m calling “From the Mailbag.” I will often get emails from people asking my opinion on current events, pop culture, and national foreign policy. Ok, well…maybe not the latter…but I certainly get asked a lot about the first two. If you have questions for the “From the Mailbag” segment, send them to email@example.com, and you might have your question answered in a future segment of “Coffee Corner.”
Hi Poppy! Congratulations on the new column! You’ve got yourself a loyal Coffee Corner reader here! My question for you, not to get TOO political but it was announced that Chelsea Clinton is pregnant now. Do you think this makes Hillary any more or any less likely to run for President? – Tyler from WeHo
Good grief…I feel like Barbara Walters all of a sudden, except far younger and more attractive. Well, how the hell should I know, Tyler? I’m no political pundit…but…
Can you imagine how wonderful and historical it would be to have the first woman, mother and grandmother as President of the United States? Personally, that’s what I’m hoping will come to pass. And frankly, I think Hillary has survived far worse (remember that whole Lewinsky thing) and was still able to multitask. Having a pregnant daughter will be just a little blip on the radar for her; and think how Ann Coulter’s head will explode when she hears, “Madame President, mother and grandmother,” all over the airwaves. Oh, I relish the thought.
Next time, Tyler, ask about the Kardashians. They’re much easier to write jokes about.
Ok, Pop Tarts – that’s it for this week. Join me next week for more “Mailbag” and further observations of the wonderful world of WeHo.