Sidney Joel Stokes: I know the show just got to winter, but for us fans…our long winter is at an end and our show is back. Helping me out with all that just went down is other half of TeamSJ….Spencer Joel Williams! Spencer Joel, valar morghulis!
Spencer Joel Williams: Valar Dohaeris Sidney. I must admit, I haven’t lost that winter weight yet.
SJS: Where did my Jack in the Box go?
SJW: Beats me. Wait, do you have anymore ranch…asking…for a friend.
SJS: Wanna get Gamey?
Spencer scoots away
SJW: Am I ready? I’ve been waiting exactly 385 days for this moment. Let’s do it.
SJS: Okay…the previously on was maybe the best one I’ve ever seen for any show.
SJW: That previously on definitely should have qualified us for an Emmy. I was getting emotional watching it. I mean seeing Viserys Targaryen was such a trip. What a blast..!
SJS: It was really good to see Farrah Moan again. She had some good moments…nearly a decade ago.
SJW: Ooooh yes. How could I forget that infamous ugly cry as she is covered in molten gold? Iconic.
SJS: That recap was soo good but I was like, okay I need a minute….but after that minute….what went down in the House of House Frey? Honestly, the best thing Arya has done in seasons.
SJW: Okay Cersei and Daenerys need to look out because there is a new head bitch in town. Frey came out being himself and I thought we were still watching the recap… but then instantly it clicked. Arya is killing every single last one of them without anything more than pouring a drink. I want what she is having.
SJS: Abuse based murder training?
SJW: More like WERRRK.com new hire training.
SJS: Spencer are you implying that we are trapped by Chiffon Dior in a room and she won’t let us out so we are using this article to call for help that we really need?
SJW: No I would never imply that…and I wouldn’t reward my savior with Del Taco coupons either.
Sidney and Spencer wink to camera (Editor’s Note: There is no camera involved for a written article guys.)
SJS: Are you glad the book is pretty much closed on the Freys?
SJW: Yes I’m happy. I thought it already was so it was a nice surprise to see them again. But now let’s close that chapter and never bring them up again. They murdered Talisa Stark and I can never forgive them for that.
SJS: Yeah…losing the chick we saw thrice is the real tragedy of the Red Wedding.
SJW: I’m glad we can move on with Arya too. I think she stalled the last couple seasons and she needs to catch up to everyone else…Like her sister…standing up to the patriarchy in Winterfell.
SJS: Yeah Arya you need to pick it up. You only have 12 episodes left before your story ends for all eternity.
SJW: I have a love hate relationship with Sansa. She makes poor decisions constantly, but I feel like she is really trying to do right with Winterfell this time around. Like she said, Ned and Rob died from making stupid mistakes. Sansa is not about to be another dead Stark. Also Lyanna Mormont for President 2020.
SJS: Sansa is my my favorite character. I think she’s had one of the most interesting arcs in the series. What I don’t always like is what the writers do with her. I dont think the writers did enough to show that Sansa couldn’t have been Queen of the North. Jon didn’t seem to want to be king and woulda backed Sansa so the resentment I just don’t think is there. Both Jon and Sansa are working out of fear of their past (we just call it PTSD) Jon fears the Night King cause he’s seen him and Sansa fears Cersei for the same reason. Both her and Jon kinda used their Lannister equivalents as insults here. Sansa compared the kind of king Jon could be to Joffrey and he said she sounds like she admires Cersei. This dynamic will continue, but I think the writers should focus on how they build up the divide since I don’t think they set up the division that great to start.
SJW: It’s funny Jon said that because I really do think Sansa admires Cersei. Sansa has kind of become Cersei in a way to mold into this new role. The transformation is incredible but I do agree with you, I want more.
SJS: Speaking of Cersei….she’s having some work done on her castle….but think the sept of Baelor is rebuilt….exactly. I loved this scene cause we haven’t had a proper Jamie/Cersei scene in a while.
SJW: I doubt it. Cersei isn’t going to waste her money on that. She is investing it all into a all-black wardrobe.
SJS: Did she reach out to you yet and, if she did would you agree to design for such a brutal leader?
SJW: I would do anything Cersei asked of me. My favorite thing about Cersei going into this new season is that she has lost everything and honestly we all know she is going to die due to that prophecy so she is just like “I’m going to leave my mark by ruining all of your happy lives.”
SJS: So she’s Trump but smarter…kinda.
SJW: I’m having a hard time with that comparison…but yes I guess you are right. Can someone photoshop Trumps face onto that black gown? Wait, don’t do that. I also love the fact that we all thought Cersei was going to marry Greyjoy, but she is playing “hard to get” until he does all of her dirty work.
SJS: I love that Jamie called his, and her, ass out. Like “You’re desperate and you’re useless…this is all a terrible idea.” That said, the chemistry between Lena Heady and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is a real pillar of this show: it’s so strong and keeps up so much of anything Lannister related.
SJW: They are perfect together. I think that’s why they are my favorite characters. They just work well together. I love how done with everything Jamie is. He just wants to take a freaking break but Cersei just won’t stop.
SJS: I honestly think he’ll kill her then die himself.
SJW: They are perfect together. I think that’s why they are my favorite characters. They just work well together. I love how done with everything Jamie is. He just wants to take a freaking break but she just keeps going. I think Jamie is going to kill her too and that will be a sad day for me.
SJS: Speaking of being done…how much time do we ACTUALLY have to spend on Sam?
SJW: Today was the first time I actually enjoyed a Sam scene. I could not stop laughing while watching Sam pick up all of that s**t. My friend was LITERALLY gagging but really, Sam’s story needs to end.
SJS: He’s like…a lame version of Samwise.
SJW: I don’t appreciate Melissandre getting no screen time but Sam gets a 1/4 of the episode. He truly is a lame version of Samwise Gamgee. Except instead of carrying Frodo up Mount Doom, he would run away and read a book.
SJS: What do you thing the key takeaway was….Sam finding where Dragonglass is or Jorah is in the Citadel?
SJW: Ummm I think the Dragonglass was the main takeaway. Look we all know Jon and Dany are going to have to meet up at some point and this just proved that point. Jon needs that Dragon Glass. But Jorah… girl, how the hell did you get in there? That does not look like a Walgreens!
SJS: Well, we gave Sam more time than the show should have so let’s visit Sansa and Baelish and Sansa finally showing she’s playing Baelish like a violin.
SJW: A lot of people were doubting Sansa’s decision making capabilities, but that scene shows Sansa Stark is here to slay. But what is it that Baelish actually wants? A crown, Sansa, I’m not sure?
SJS: Baelish wants a crown but Sansa to be his queen. She looks like her mother, who he ever only wanted. In addition, Baelish wants to prove that he’s something more and he feels power will get him the admiration he so desperately craves.
SJW: Yeah I was hoping Baelish would get over the fact that Sansa looks like her mother but I guess not. He won’t stop until he gets a crown. I do think he would pick a crown over Sansa if it came down to it.
SJS: Guess we’ll see. What did you think of the return of the Hound and his affiliation with the Brothers Without Banners?
SJW: He has transformed so much and I am so glad he didn’t die. Okay but how cool was it to go back to that farm house from all those seasons ago?! My theory is that the Brotherhood is going to be key in destroying the White Walkers. I believe that Beric Dondarrion is the fabled Azor Ahai and that the Lord of Light has redirected him to push back the White Walkers with his flaming sword. My body is ready.
SJS: I love that we saw a different side of him. Almost as him seeing the visions in the flames made fatalistic worldview less simple. Now he now sees he has to try and help. The way he started was by giving his victims a proper burial. And lastly….she finally makes it home. I’m glad there was no talking, even from Tyrion. This moment was more about the feeling, not just for her, but for us. For all those years we’ve been waiting for her to join the fray across the narrow sea and we, through her, were taking it all in. Her inner circle even gave her space to soak it all in. She’s ready for the war to come…but I’m curious if she truly is or if she’s not gonna be like, “Yeah eff this” and go rebuild Valryia. So Spencer, any last thoughts before we sum this up?
SJW: Dany is constantly in vacation mode. So it’ll be a challenge to keep her from running back to Essos. But really we have been waiting for years to see Danerys in Westeros so I am so excited. Focus Dany!! All in all, this episode felt more like a long trailer to me. It was short and didn’t really dive deep into any plots. It just revealed to us what characters survived the long break. But it was still a perfect episode and I am stoked for next weekend. Let’s hope for a sassy Olenna Tyrell scene!
Dragonstone, in summation
SJS: “Ain’t no party like an Arya Stark party cause and Arya Stark party requires a murder investigation. Sansa is not here for your patriarchy bullshit. Jamie’s new attitude is, ‘but that’s none of my business.’ Winter came for House Frey and potentially a Grammy winner. Sam remains useless. Brotherhood without Banners is not here for your fears based on childhood trauma, they will make you face your shit. Jorah, no judgment, but like….wear a glove next time. Dany was totally wondering if she can get that castle on HGTV cause she is not feeling Stannis’ brooding king fantasy. Despite long journeys, through extreme temperatures of hot and cold, and probably really bad undiagnosed PTSD, everyone’s face looked so immaculately beat. Like yes Miss Varys, we can see that bronzer. Less is more, Mama!”
For next week, our normal format will return but Spencer, thank you so much for talking this out with me…I feel we can go on all night but I need to get to bed cause I need to sleep to be fresh and ready to go to work tomorrow….and discuss Game of Thrones with everyone there.