SW: Hi….the old Sidney can’t come to the review right now….why? Cause he’s dead
SS: Spencer…how many times do i have to tell you I’m NOT dead, I’m 30
SW: Sure Jan
SS: Hey Everyone! I’m not well, and this is my co-host tonight, Can’t Actually breathe. How are you spencer?
SW: Sidney I still can’t breathe. This episode gave me more than what I expected… including a new cigarette habit
SS: Look, I know we talked, a lot, this season about the time it took to get places. End of the day, if you enjoyed the dragon scenes, that’s where your timing went and we shouldn’t complain about something no one had control over. That said, opening with the meeting in King’s Landing was so brilliant, it was so satisfying, and it was so stressfull
SW: Right, we need to put this fast travel option to bed. Just let it go people. But the start, Is this the part where I scream into a pillow as we mention Cersei’s wardrobe choices?
SS: I dunno…is it?
SW: Me, grabs pillow CERSEI YOU LOOK SO GOOD. YASSSSS QUEEN!
SS: IN a season full of refreences to the ones that came before, this might have been the best use of it.
SW: I think my favorite was The Mountain and The Hound. THAT was powerful. The Mountain has literally become a monster and it is now evident to me why we brought the Hound back last season. To finally kill his brother…. next season
SS: I loved Braun and Tyrion and Hound and Brienne. Both two sets who respect each other on different sides of a conflict.
SW: H yes how could I forget the Hound and Brienne. I thought that would go in a complete different direction. I guess nothing changes a man like watching a dragon get shot out of the sky by an Ice King.
SS: YEah, that’s a bitch, ya know?
SS: But when the finally get to the dragon pit, I couldn’t take it. I needed medical help. Spencer, these charachters are finally together. Face to face. I WAS NEVER ACTUALLY READY!
SW: Cersei Lannister was looking Daenerys straight in the eye. I never thought I would see this day! It was everything I thought it would be and more. No one out bested each other. These are two women on top of their game giving us the best life we could ever hope for. It’s like if we gave Joan and Bette swords and dragons. Art.
SS: Yeah and also Cersei reprimanding Dany for being tardy. That was the perfect note to end the entrance on.
SW: I screamed when Cersei called her out for being late. I don’t care if you came in on a freaking Decepticon starship. You arrive on time when you meet with Cersei.
SS: What did you think of the scene overall?
SW: I loved it. It was literally a rollercoaster of emotions. I was happy to see so many faces together, but then that makes you nervous. I was also nervous because I thought that freaking zombie wasn’t in his kennel at first till he ran through my tv screen and made me spill my wine. Cersei was ACTUALLY scared for once. Me too girl.
SS: I thought that it was so perfectly built. Everything was paced so well. When Cersei saw the dead living, I couldn’t think of a time we’ve seen her that scared in a while, if ever. When Jon did his noble thing I was like, “Wow you really are your dad.”
….or who you think your dad is.
SW: Jon picked a bad time to be like Ned… but then also it wouldn’t matter because Cersei still would have been shady either way this worked out.
SS: Wanna know what line wrecked me in this entire thing?
SW: Which line?
SS: “I know Ned Stark’s son will be true to his word.” Cersei never wanted Ned dead. She, oddly, respected him.
SW: YES! Cersei is pulling out all of the reciepts. No matter how hard it hurts. I think Cersei has respect for the Starks in a odd way. Because if you go back, the Starks helped the Lannisters/Baratheons take the throne in the first place.
SS: I also think Dany showed MORE remorse for the loss of her dragon this episode than she did when it happened.
SW: Yeah she totally did because it felt like it came all of a sudden when Jon came made those comments to Cersei. Like okay Dany, all of a sudden you care about poor Viserion. She is going to milk that dragons death until she is on the throne or dead.
SS: And when Tyrion had to go clean up a mess for someone, only for Jamie to say goodbye, I thought that was it for Tyrion, and started to cry.
SW: That was a hard scene for me. Cersei is my favorite character. But almost having Jamie killed was crossing the line. She makes it so hard to side with her because she is too far gone. I want good things for her but she has no trust in anyone. She thinks everyone is after her.
SS: Oh, honey, she gonna die. Make peace with that. She hasn’t earned good things.
SS: The scene with Tyrion and Cersei was their best scene. I want Lena Heady to (finally) get her Emmy for this scene.
SW: GIVE IT TO HER NOW! If Sarah Paulson got a Emmy for Marcia Clarke, Lena deserves 1000 Emmys for Cersei.
SS: Tyrion pouring her the wine, it was such a touch. Such a wonderful touch that gave the scene a soul.
SW: Honestly, it was one of my favorite scenes. the show has ever done. So much excellent acting.
SS: The scene with Theon and Jon felt so good. It felt so emotionally right. Especially followed by How Theon Got Her Groove Back.
SW: Not as right as it felt watching Theon get the shit kicked out of him. I needed that, and so did he.
SS: Glad he’s gonna go get Asha. I feel he’ll die for her, but it will be the right move.
SW: Honestly I wont care. Yara is a way cooler character. I’ve been done with Theon for a long time now… It’s just gone on long enough. I get it. I get why he does the things he does. But I just have a hard time caring now.
SS: So. The entire Winterfell Sequence.
SW: Ok, let me first say, never once have I ever agreed with you on Sansa. You have been telling me from the beginning how she is your favorite and I never got it…. But tonight. Boy did I get it. Sansa gave me life!
SS: There ya go. I knew you’d get there. Also, FINALLY Bran coming through and earning his rent! And THEY FINALLY BROUGHT UP THE MYSTERY OF THE FIRST SEASON! This is what brought all this all together. Sansa brought the justice her father was brought to King’s Landing to bring.
SW: Yes. Everything is finally out in the open. Like, we all know this war was bullshit from the beginning thanks to Petyr. My favorite line, when Baelish looked at Arya, and Arya says something like… “Bitch my sister is fucking talking to you.” My wig flew off.
SS: Well it was a cheap wig. It’s like I said, use Wigs by Vanity when watching this show…or else.
SS: I do wish Sansa killed Little Finger. She passed the sentence.
SW: Yes. That would have made it better. But honestly I was just happy to see him die though. That was more satisfying than watching Bolton, Frey, or Joffrey die.
SS:I loved watching Winter come to King’s Landing.
SW: That was oddly beautiful. It was like a slow, quiet “fuck you” to Cersei.
SS: So can we talk about the biggest reveal…perhaps of the series.
SW: Yes. I am ready for it.
SW: No I’m not ready!
SS: Oh, then–
SW: Okay I am.
SS: So we found-
SS: Oh, then
Slaps Spencer. Refills wine glass
SS: I didn’t see it coming. I never, even as a book reader, see the idea that Lyanna willingly, like Helen of Troy, went with Rhaegal. This shook me to everything I thought about the series. I always thought that and never a second otherwise.
SW: This was something I’ve heard about seasons ago. This whole war was built on a lie. That Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna which is what began Roberts Rebellion. But no, it was love that brought them together. It’s a classic Romeo and Juliet story with the Montagues and the Capulets.
SS: And just when we think the end of a season ends on a happy note, something horrifying yet awesome happens.
SW: I loved it. I’ve had a fan made poster in my office for a while with the Night King riding a dragon. It became a reality tonight.
SW: My only complaint: Eastwatch? After all we have been through, I wish we saw Castle Black go down instead. Is that weird?
SS: Fully right but, the characters we cared about weren’t at castle black, and those there will come to Winterfell.
SW: I know…lame…I hope Tormund made it out but I mean, that wall came down HARD.
SS: Well that was it for this season. I cant believe we are here. The penultimate. Next season, that’s it.
SW: This season was crazy and went by faster than a cabinet position in the Trump Administration. I feel empty and I can’t even imagine a life without Game of Thrones. I need to hug.
SS: …and I need to go. Till next year everyone. Thanks for reading this season’s Game Guide.
The Lion and the Dragon, in summation (by Sidney)
“If Bron loves to be called ‘Sir,’ if the position in King’s Landing doesn’t work out, I know a lot of subs that have a few positions for him. I don’t think anyone brought the mac & cheese to this reunion. I mean I get making an entrance, but when Cersei drags you for tardiness, like girl, maybe it’s you. Army of the dead are actually queens just leaving a circuit weekend . The Lannisters are so relatable, needing booze to deal with their families like all of us. Miss Bran cam all the way through with those receipts finally. The Lannisters had fucked up bedtime stories. Sam is lowkey a deserter. Jon Snow has a lot going on but he doesn’t skip leg day. This wall is also not gonna be built by Mexico. We actually have to wait a year for 4 episodes.”
The Lion and the Dragon, in summation (by Spencer)
“So I guess Casterly Rock is the new fight club, because we are not talking about that. Watching Brienne and The Hound together was kind of like watching two divorced parents meeting a soccer game and it was very satisfying. Cersei calling Dany on her tardiness was everything I needed to get through this next week. Cersei and I had one thing in common this episode, we both needed a diaper change after that Wight jumped out of the box. There are not enough Emmys in the world to give Lena and Peter for their confrontation scene. Got to admit, I think I enjoyed watching Petyr die way more than the show creators intended. I think it’s safe to say Jamie is back on Tinder after this episode. If we learned anything from this episode, building a wall will not keep out anybody and the White Walkers sure as hell aren’t paying for it either.”
Keep geek and stylish.
-Sidney & Spencer.