Talking Drag Race with Chiffon Dior: Episode Five “The DESPY Awards”

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Episode Five: The DESPY Awards  

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends…..or at least seems like it this season. So after last week’s painful elimination (#JusticeForTrixie) where Ru decided to kick the audience in the the collective balls, the blow was softened this week. This time around we were just given a collective kick in the ribs but more on that later.

So the show begins with everyone being shocked at Trixie’s elimination and all the girls being annoyed at Pearl’s aloofness. I guess I DO have something in common with the queens of this season after all. Boy Ru appears, after what I can only assume was an afternoon of kicking puppies and taking candy from babies, to reveal an actual cool mini challenge, replicating iconic looks of stars using on paper, as a tribute to a Drag Race fan who did that last season. Maybe this is a turning point for the mini challenges this season? Or maybe next week they’ll be playing a hand of Go Fish while wearing diapers to determine the winner. Time will tell.

 

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Katya and Kasha emerge victorious with a really funny Bjork swan dress and Joan Rivers schtick. Little know fact: It turns out Bjork wasn’t named after the sound that the Swedish Chef makes. Who knew? From there Ru announces that the main challenge would be the first annual DESPY Awards where the gals would team up to present awards. I liked this challenge better the first time when it was called the 2014 NotSafe4Werk.com Year End Awards (Cheap plug here!) but it will at least give our queens a chance to show their comedic chops.

Crap, now I want a chop. Veal, pork, whatever. This is why all my costumes need to be four way stretch.

So back in the workroom, someone orders a serving of awkward with a side of uncomfortable with a portion of entitlement on the side. Rupaul chastises Pearl for not having a big personality. If only you could have done something about that last week Ru, if only! Pearl tries to defend herself but it just gets awkward. Eventually Pearl pulls a Mimi ImFurst and runs out on her partner for the challenge, leaving Max to twiddle her thumbs before finally returning.

 

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But now happy times are here as the queens are sent to work on their material with a comedy coach, Drag Race legend Pandora Boxx doing a dead-on impression of Kathy Griffin. Oh wait, it’s actually Kathy Griffin. I guess that’s cool too. Katya and Kasha made a joke about Ginger Minj being the Danny Devito of drag that went over like a fart from a bottom in bed.

“Danny Devito? That’s the least gay reference ever!” -Kathy Griffin

This led to Kathy’s mantra for the evening which ironically is also the personal motto for Michelle Bachmann’s husband Marcus….

 

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Next up we had Miss Fame talking about her love of chickens. No, not what you’re thinking. ACTUAL chickens. She then makes a chicken noise without moving her lips. Forget Drag Race, why isn’t this bitch on America’s Got Talent???

 

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I agree with you though girl! I love chicken too!

 

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Yeah, so anyway it was off to perform in front of a live studio audience but sadly there was no Bianca Del Rio this year to absolutely crush but honestly, the gurls were funnier than I expected. The best part of this challenge is hearing Michelle Visage’s laughter, laughter that comes all the way down from her testicles. Bonus points to to Katya for name-dropping PBS icon Bob Ross.

 

Happy little trees
Happy little trees

Shockingly, considering the verbal beat down she took at the hands of Ru and her subsequent fleeing, Max and Pearl emerge victorious.

 

I know! We're as shocked as you are!
I know! We’re as shocked as you are!

 

Meanwhile, beloved fan favorite Mrs. Kasha Davis and this season’s “Oh she’s still there?” gurl Kandy Ho land in the bottom two and are forced to lip sync for their lives to the melodious tunes of Lovergirl by 80’s pop star Teena Marie. The competition is super close but in the end, RuPaul plays Lucy to our collective Charlie Browns and yanks away the football at the last moment, forcing Mrs. Kasha Davis to sashay away.

 

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I’m not sure what bit of cruelty for the audience is next for Ru. Maybe she’s going to retroactively take away Jinkx’s crown. Maybe she’s going to go door to door randomly kicking Drag Race fans’ dogs?Maybe she’s going to bring back Santino? I don’t know what’s going on but I shudder to think what is next. Maybe Kathy has some advice to make things happy again?

 

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Be sure to vote in our poll for who you think will win this season. Last week Ginger, Katya and Max all tied for first with 29.73% of the vote! Who moved the needle this week? Also if you’re on the east coast be sure to join us each week immediately after the show in the NotSafe4Werk Post Race Show to chat with other Drag Race fans about what just went down on the main stage! Plus, be sure to check out the debut of ELIMINATION TRANSFORMATION with Jamie-Lynn as she transforms into Trixie Mattel right here. Until next week, remember to have your drag queens neutered and spayed.

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About Chiffon Dior 464 Articles
Despite being a drag journalist for over five years, Chiffon only recently realized that she missed a golden opportunity back then to change her drag name to Rhoda Story.

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