Episode Twelve “And the Rest is Drag”
Hi kids and welcome to another edition of TALKING DRAG RACE with Chiffon Dior! That would be me, now with an additional six pounds of post-Katya ice creaming binging depression. Let’s get right into the recapping before I start singing “Wind Beneath Wings” in her honor, shall we?
So after the ladies snip at one another, Michelle Visage makes her grand entrance and informs them they’ll filming scenes for the video for RuPaul’s new video, “Born Naked” and then they’ll be having dinner with Ru, a dinner that will invariably involve Tic Tac jokes and painful family memories.
First up, the legendary, gorgeous Candis Cayne works with the ladies on choreography before Kennedy heads to dinner with Ru who is now juicing her Tic Tacs. What, no kale in that? Kennedy reveals that her father passed recently and she has cared for her special needs sister her entire life. Then it was Ginger’s turn and she talked about her love for her mother but that her father left them both when she was fourteen to get with his high school girlfriend. I assume that was his girlfriend from when he was in high school and not his girlfriend that was actually in high school at the time but to be fair, Ginger is from Florida so both options are on the table. Violet doesn’t really have any sad drama but it is pretty clear Violet loves her some Violet. Pearl speaks vaguely about being tormented as a child without actually saying what happened to her.
So it was off to the green screen to film their dance routines under the watchful eye of Candis. Kennedy dances the house down boots but Ginger loses part of her weave, Pearl’s lace front slides back and Violet loses an earring and forgets her choreography. Fear not though, I have hunch there will be plenty of usable footage come the finale.
Next it was the acting portion of the challenge in front of the watchful eye of Mathu Andersen. For me, the highlight of this was Ru looking like a cross between the father from Good Times and Mario from Super Mario Brothers with just a pinch of Deliverance thrown in for good measure. God, I wish Katya was here to describe Ru’s look. *Shakes fist at the TV screen*
For the record, I was declared the winner of the acting challenge for my performance of “acting like this segment didn’t actually make me want to put a gun in my mouth.”
Next up was the runway where the ladies were supposed to present their best drag….
Then Ru presented pictures of the queens as little boys and asked them what advice they would give their younger selves. If I was in charge, I would have gotten a picture of Pearl asleep as a child and hilarity would have ensued. My advice to my younger self…. don’t get too attached to the McRib because they’ll just keep toying with your emotions with it over the years.
It was time for one final lip sync for all the gurls’ lives as Kennedy Davenport, Ginger Minj, Pearl and Violet Chachki shimmied and shaked to dulcet tones of “Born Naked” by none other than RuPaul herself. When the smoke cleared, Kennedy was asked to sashay away leaving Ginger, Pearl and Violet as your top three for season seven. One of them will be crowned the winner in two weeks but really the only fitting ending to this season is for RuPaul to wake up in bed next to Suzanne Pleshette and reveal it was all a horrible dream.
So we have our top three queens. Be sure to vote in our poll for who you think will win this season. Last week the winner was….um….”I honestly don’t care”, followed by Ginger, Violet and Pearl? So who is your pick to win the whole shebang? Until next week, remember to have your drag queens neutered and spayed.