The WERRRK.com Interview: Heidi Haux


Well hello there Heidi Haux! How are you doing today my dear?

Absolutely fabulous, Chiffon. It’s always nice to have a day off.

Are drag queens legally allowed to have day off, especially during Pride Month? I need to check the handbook.

Well if  I’m violating one of the by-laws, please don’t rat me out.

I’ll have to see what the incentives are before I commit to anything but that’s for another time. So it’s been a while since we’ve sat down for a little gurl talk. You wrote a deeply personal, wonderful piece that you were gracious enough to allow us to repost here last year. And then before that we chatted briefly before the finale of season…….six of So You Think You Can Drag?

Yes! It was Season 6. Nice memory. And I’m still so thankful for the platform you, and WERRRK provided me last year, and the content you continue to put out to this day. I’m excited for this chat!

Likewise, you are one of my absolute favorites and when I ran into Michael Bradley Block the other night at Jackie Cox‘s show, he told me a little bit about the new project coming up that you are involved with so I think it was the perfect time for us to get together again.

Ohmygoodness yes. First of all, love Jackie, my #TeamHighCamp sister from SYTYCD All Stars! And I could not be more excited about what Michael has gotten me involved in. Should i go ahead and divulge?

I think you can spill the beans!

I’ve been brought on as Host and Mentor for a new competition being mounted over at Icon in Astoria called Iconic! It’s produced by Michael Bradley Block and Linsdey Kay and when they approached me I was titillated to say the least. It’s everything you want in a drag competition and hopefully more.

Everything I want? So……lightsaber duels? I am so there!

Michael is really excited about bringing something like this to Queens, and I ADORE the stage over at Icon so it took everything I had in me to not say YES! immediately. And I can neither confirm nor deny if lightsaber duels are in the works at this time.

Photo by Anuj Goyal, IG: @nujent

Well it is only fitting that Queens should have a top notch drag queen competition of her own! Wait, I hope I didn’t just misgender an entire borough, did I?

Queens has seen and heard worse, trust me.

So what do you think you can bring to the able as the host and mentor for this event?

Drag competitions have been a big influence on my persona as a whole. When I was first getting started that’s what you would do. Go out as much as could for free and competitions offered an opportunity to be seen and to possibly make some money. Star Search, Look Queen, and SYTYCD were all big parts of solidifying Heidi and presenting her to the world. So I definitely know what it’s like to go through the process, if anything. And I hope I can use that experience to help out this crop of girls as they navigate through the competition.

Photo by Jenn Witek

How many eager young, fresh-faced unemployed musical theatre majors….I mean queens will be competing?

It’s been hard already, but we’ve narrowed down the field to ten finalists. The official numbers and names will be released with a fabulous photo shoot being provided by Preston Burford. (Whose work is just- I mean- HAVE YOU SEEN IT?- it’s just the tits.) That’ll be out before our big Pride shenanigans in the city.

Full pause. Preston’s work is INCREDIBLE! Okay, now we may resume.

Yeah, I’m friggin’ love what he does.

Photo by Preston Burford

So potential lightsaber duels aside, what else do you have in store for the ladies during this competition?

A scrumptious splattering of knowledgeable judges, themes everyone wants and definitely some you won’t expect, and a twist component I’m really excited about. Every week will have a mini challenge in addition to/complimentary of the night’s theme. Because why have them jump through hoops if the hoops are not on fire?

This is starting to sound like a drag version of American Ninja Warrior.

Shhhh! Don’t spill the beans on that mini challenge! Jk, definitely nothing too physical- Drag is already brutal enough. However if it’s successful I’ll pitch that for a future mini challenge!

Or…..we partner up and pitch it NBC. They’re starving for programming.

I’m IN!

I probably should edit this out so no one steals our idea though.

Smart thinking on that one.

I’m smarter than I look. Sometimes. So let’s get to the important things, what illustrious prize package awaits the winner?

There’s a nice bundle of cash, custom nails from Nails for Queens NYC, make up, wig(s), a photo shoot, and most importantly- their own gig at Icon. Things are still getting added as we go on and I swear it got me thinking maybe I should actually be competing!

I’m pretty sure that would be a conflict of interest Heidi and most likely against the rules.

I suppose you’re right. And while I’ve competed all over town I never have quite snatched the crown. What’s the old saying “If you can’t win, Host”?

Sure, we’ll go with that! So now that we have sufficiently and shamelessly promoted Iconic, I think this is a great point for a flashback sequence. Can we start on Heidi’s origin story?

Oh my, so long ago. It’s been several decades since, as a young child, my parents “plane” crashed out in Roswell, NM. I’ve been in New York for ten years now, and Heidi surfaced about five years ago.

This is a nice, positive story so I’m going to refrain from making any comments about Jersey.

It was shortly after that night, looking for drag things to do in the area, I met a friend at Therapy where they watched a “new” show every week with a drag queen who was on it, Sahara Davenport. So I’ve been a fan of drag for a long time – I never thought anything was wrong with dressing up. When I was six, I made my mom make me a “sexy witch” costume so I could be Sarah Jessica Parker from Hocus Pocus for Halloween.

I’m going to refrain from saying you ran amuck, amuck, amuck that Halloween. Because I’m a professional.

The irony is when Heidi did finally come out it was a Halloween birth- and I was Sarah. It came about after years of preparation, built up ideas, and shameless lip syncs down the streets of NYC. And what helped was that I had a friend who wanted to do it too. Judy Darling and I started painting together and going out. Or painting and staying in and trying out lip syncs for only each other. We gave each other the comfort of having a sister and the critique of someone who can tell you how to improve without it being mean.

So was Halloween going to be “a one time only thing” like so many of us claim (myself included)?

Oh absolutely not. Halloweekend was a “prove to yourself you can do it three days in a row” kind of thing. I always knew as soon as the drag closet opened I’d never be able to get the door shut again…..because I’m a hoarder.

So how long after that weekend was it before you were able to feel your feet again?

I’ll let you know when It happens.

Photo by James Michael Avance
JMA PHOTOGRAPHY

What was your first exposure to world of drag?

My first drag queen was Bugs Bunny- such a funny queen! I think that’s why I’m always reverting back to comedy. It’s in the roots Doc!

You know this is literally the one time I didn’t put in the “besides Bugs Bunny” disclaimer.

*Laughs* But my first drag show was at Den Night club out in New Jersey. I had driven my car here from New Mexico, so me and my friend went out there to sneak in with our fake IDs and watch our friend “step down” and hand his title to whoever won the competition that night. I remember the host saying the only reason queens pee while in Drag was so they could have a chance to sit the fuck down. I don’t find that holds true for me, was she not padding? I’m confused by it still to this day.

I mean….yeah. I squeeze out every drop I can before the pads go on because once that happens, peeing is basically a zero sum game.

There are ways, but I wouldn’t risk more of clothing sitting in these bar bathrooms. And if you break the seal- the tuck is never the same.

*cue the “The More You Know” graphic*

Back to that first night- I remember after the show going back to someone’s house- where all the queens had gotten ready and they were all Kiki-ing about this and that. I have never been able to find the words to describe how i felt that night. It wasn’t the show, while that was Drag fab of course, it was after- the community- everybody new each other and they invited us into their home no worries and told us we could stay over. Just like that. Open arms and open hearts. In New Jersey of all places.

How would describe your style to someone that hasn’t seen you perform yet?

I’m truly a hooker from outer space. Sometimes appealing to the eye, always confusing -especially to the groin- erratic and upbeat, with a hint of “grab ya by your heartstrings and remind you about the world’s issues”. I have a very blue sense of humor but I’m extremely adaptable. I know how to fit a venue because I’m true chameleon queen. I’m vers.

I was going to ask about that because one of the places you work regularly is Lips, which is a more tourist venue. Did you see my interview notes?

I don’t like to peak at others notes. With Lips it’s all about knowing the market. It’s a tourist venue so they like songs they recognize and humor they can relate to. It’s a new, sometimes once in a lifetime experience for our customers so we want them to feel included while still experienced a whole new world.

A dazzling place they never knew?

A thrilling chase even. I’ve worked there for three years now and can fill every position a queen can work on staff. I started at the door and now I serve, bartend, I Show-hostess, and I have multiple celebrity impersonations. All things I didn’t do when I started there so tourist destination or not, there is something to be said about the work ethic and caliber of a good Lips queen.

A little birdie told me that in addition to Lips and assorted street corners, you can also be found at Duplex as well.

This is true. My human flesh suit- Kyler- bartends there every Monday night for my drag mother Chandelier Period’s show Shut Up Chandi and I have my own one woman show there as well, every Wednesday night at 11 it’s Hauxin Around with Heidi Haux!

So everyone has plenty of chances to climb aboard the Haux train and see you then!

I make local stops too!

You’re more reliable than the MTA these days to be honest.

I always say: Drag is just like the MTA- “if you see something, say something” and money talks.

And ignore that guy masturbating in the corner.

Don’t misgender whoever is getting off in the corner!

So we’ve come up to a very important, albeit dangerous part of the interview….THE LIGHTNING ROUND! Are you brave enough to play?

I believe I am indeed brave enough.

Must Have makeup item?

Texas Dirt- for blending out my contour

4 AM post show food craving?

Grilled cheese. Or the Lobster Roll from the Shrimpy’s Van!

The best part of drag?

It’s mine.

The worst part of drag?

It’s everyone else’s.

Most surprising thing about you that people might not know?

Oh wow. I love hedgehogs! I had an albino one when i was younger. That can’t be “most surprising” but I’m drawing blanks.

Queen you would pay to see?

Sasha Velour.

Guilty Pleasure?

Right now… Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Last movie to make you cry?

Well I watched the premiere of POSE yesterday and while on TV, it was lengthy and it did get me right together.

Death Row last meal?

EITHER A) my mom’s traditional ribs baked on the grill in our backyard with mash potatoes and corn on the cob OR (if she is unavailable or unwilling for some reason to cook said meal) B) Chile Rellenos, extra cheesy with refried beans/ the Relleno burrito from Caraveo’s back in my hometown. I crave those daily.

Netflix Binge recommendation?

LOST! Always. Option b is The OA.

Oddly specific one on this list, but can you name one valid reason why Flaming Saddles doesn’t have a Westworld viewing party hosted by you each week?

What. Night does it air again? (DVR abuser over here)

Sunday.

That would be the ONLY valid reason – it’s a night I am already employed. But I’m always willing to negotiate!

Final question, most embarrassing song on your phone?

Girl Party by Mackenzie from Dance Moms, technically if you want to buy it on tunes it’s by Mack Z. But I also have the entirety of the Countess Luann’s discography (plus remixes) so……

So we’ll let the readers be the judge of that one I suppose. Well, it was close there for a moment but it looks like you managed to survive….THE LIGHTNING ROUND!

It was harder than I thought!

Photo by James Michael Avance JMA PHOTOGRAPHY

So in the meantime, where can people find you on the interwebs?

Well as of right now….. (possibly alluding to great things in the works), My Instagram is @HeiditheHaux, My YouTube videos can be found here and you can email Heidithehaux@gmail.com for booking information.

Well Heidi, we have just about reached the end here. I just have to say that you are so creative and I adore and I fully expect to see even bigger things from you in the future. So before we take off the pads to pee, do you have any final words of wisdom to leave the WERRRK.com Universe with?

I don’t know if it’s wisdom but I guess for final words – it doesn’t matter if your gardening or not, whenever life throws some bull shit at you feel free to grab a Haux.

Was that a Socrates quote?

Now I told you beforehand we weren’t going to discuss my age. He might have written it down but he stole it from me. We always had a rivalry, the two of us.

Thank you for all this time my dear.

You’re so welcome! Thank YOU. I rather enjoyed it.

About Chiffon Dior 510 Articles
Despite being a drag journalist for over five years, Chiffon only recently realized that she missed a golden opportunity back then to change her drag name to Rhoda Story.

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