WERRRK.com’s Mock WWE Raw/Smackdown Draft

062016 wwe draft.vadapt.664.high.65

WERRRK'S RAW GM: Sassy Stephie
WERRRK’S RAW GM: Sassy Stephie

Chiffon Dior: Hello everyone and welcome to the WERRRK.com mock WWE Raw and Smackdown Draft. I’m your impartial moderator, Chiffon Dior and I’m joined by WERRRK.com’s resident bad girl, Sassy Stephie……

Sassy Stephie :who will be playing the role of WERRRK.com’s own version of Stephanie McMahon this evening, so its only going to get bitchier!

CD:Sigh…..and by our friend from out in Sin City, the one and only Allison Danger!

Allison Danger: Hello, hello!

SS: Ha! What an intro…nothing special just from Sin City. At least Im known for something

WERRRK's Smackdown GM: Allison Danger
WERRRK’s Smackdown GM: Allison Danger

AD: And I am known for everything.

CD: Teaming up with Sidney to sneak attack me at the Wrestlemania preview we did, that’s what you’re known for!

SS: Sidney is weak an needed help, I took him under my wing for one night only!

AD: You ladies have more issues than Vogue.

CD: So we flipped a coin backstage and Stephie you won the first pick and will be selecting for Raw. Danger, you have the second pick and will be picking for Smackdown. Do either of you have any questions before we start?

AD: I am ready to make Smackdown the best in the business today.

SS: Raw is the premiere brand and I plan to keep it that way!

CD: Stephie, you are on the clock.

SS: Since tonight on RAW, he is going to win back the WWE championship, that he never lost mind you, my first pick is to “Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim” RAW, Seth Rollins!

Sassy Stephie takes Seth Rollins number one overall for Raw!
Sassy Stephie takes Seth Rollins number one overall for Raw!

AD: Smackdown and I would love to announce the drafting of the Swiss Superman himself, Cesaro.

CD: Keeping the picks in the family, are we Allison?

AD: Damn right. Swiss=Superior.

SS: Thats a great pick, Danger. But like Shane McMahon, he has never been able to really grab that brass ring and run with it.

CD: Ooooh

AD: Cesaro simply needs the right team to showcase the true superstar that he is.

SS: Oh and you can provide that?

AD:Without a doubt. This is why I can step away from the rings for years and still put asses in seats once a decade.

CD: Okay, ladies…..back to your corners….err….podiums.

SS: Anyway, my second pick, I may not like him but the fans seem to adore this lunatic Dean Ambrose

CD: The WWE Champion is off the board! Danger, you’re up.

AD: Smackdown and I are thrilled to welcome the Phenomenal AJ Styles.

CD: Clearly neither of you are interested in workrate. *laughs*

SS: Clearly.

SS: Which is why I am going to shake it up and grab the #1 poster boy for WWE John Cena!

CD: You were swayed by his ESPYs performance, right?

SS: I’m interested in whats best for business. John Cena is money

AD: Speaking of business, I would like you all to say to a true boss-Sasha Banks.

Allison Danger shakes up the draft with her pick of The Boss!
Allison Danger shakes up the draft with her pick of The Boss!

CD: BOMBSHELL! The backbone of Shimmer has just taken the first woman sports entertai….errr…..wrestler in the draft!

SS: She’s an amazing pick. Sasha is the future, I have to hand it to Danger for that.

Wooooooooooooooooo, by being genetically superior I choose Charlotte.

CD: Superior or full of nepotism?

SS: Confidence is encouraged on the RAW brand

CD: This is quickly turning into ladies night!

AD: After much consideration, please welcome TRIPLE H.

CD: Stephie is visibly upset at Allison Danger’s last pick!

SS: I’m going to go out to the swamp for my next pick Bray Wyatt

AD: Joining the women’s division on Smackdown is the Lasskicker, Ireland’s own Becky Lynch.

Chiffon Dior

SS: The woman who walks her own path in the WWE, Paige

AD: Very nice choice.

CD: There is a run on woman’s division talent. I can only assume Judy Martin will be picked soon.

AD: Come on down, Kofi Kingston!

CD: Clap for one third of your two times champs and feel the power!

AD: I better get a free unicorn horn for that!

SS: I had another choice in mind, but I gotta scoop up the SmackTalker Skywalker, Enzo Amore.

CD: How you doin?

SS: How You doin?

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AD: That draft pick is SAWFT

CD: Could you please spell that out for us?

SS: What are you talking about? He is a certified G and a bonafide thug! And You Cant Teach That!

CD: My next draft can teach French while bringing a stronger style, bonjour, Kevin Owens!

SS: Gotta keep the tag team division alive, but I will let my last pick Enzo Amore make this next pick.

Enzo Amore: Thanks boss. How you doin? Raw’s next pick is seven feet tall…..AND YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT! Big Cass!

CD: *leaves the hostess podium to get a picture with Enzo*

AD: Hey Big-E, bring that body down and join your stablemate!

SS: ole- ole-ole-ole, ole ole…..Sami Zayn!

CD: Owens and Sami are finally separated by brands. Who knows if that will end their rivalry though?

AD: Focusing once again on our women’s division, Smackdown will be welcoming back, once doctors clear her, Emma.

SS: A true talent from the independent scene great choice! My next pick all the way from Suplex City, Canada, UFC fighter – Brock Lesnar!

Sassy Stephie isn't worried about his issues. She's bring Brock to Raw!
Sassy Stephie isn’t worried about his issues. She’s bring Brock to Raw!

CD: Wow! One of the biggest draws in the history of PPV is off the board. Now can Stephie convince him to show up more than a few times a year? That remains to be seen but its a bold pick!

AD: Rounding out a fabulous trio will be the resident musical genius Xavier Woods

SS: You must have a strong vet that people can always rely on. The Queen of Hearts, Natayla.

AD: Strong vets are important. As our great wrestling minds. Running our creative and backstage will be Mr. Paul Heyman. He is a Smackdown guy.

Are you happy to join Smackdown Mr. Heyman?
Are you happy to join Smackdown Mr. Heyman?

SS: Dividing the conqueror and his voice, interesting. If thats how we are going to play Danger, I will remember that. My next pick is one of my hometown guys, now residing in Hollywood Florida, Dolph Ziggler

AD: Very nice. On that note I follow my choice up with under appreciated Zack Ryder

SS: Another hometown boy, your IC Champion The Miz!

CD: Apparently, Stephie’s scouting focused heavily on Cleveland.

SS: It’s the Championship city!

AD: And my scouting is leading to a very well decorated former champ, Randy Orton.

SS: The United State Champion, Rusev.

AD: Leading up the Smackdown announce team, JBL.

SS: Another great Canadian, Chris Jericho.

AD: Smackdown’s ring announcer will be Lillian Garcia

SS: Another veteran, this time in ring announcing, Tony Chimel

AD: Very good choice, very good. Keeping with the announcer theme, welcome aboard Corey Graves

SS: The beautiful, talented, and intelligent Renee Young (yet another Canadian)

AD: Hola, Alberto Del Rio!

SS: Welcome to the Club Luke Gallows.

AD: Entering the women’s division, Naomi.

SS: And his partner, Karl Anderson.

AD: He’s going to make Smackdown great again, Darren Young!

SS: Welcome to RAW, Kalisto!

AD: Oh heyyyyyyyyyyyy, Apollo Crews.

SS: Joining Renee on commentary, Michael Cole.

CD: Goldust is our next entry to Smackdown.

SS: Because I know he is SO MUCH BETTER than what he is doing now, plus he is  Prince Pretty Tyler Breeze!

CD: Fans are on the edge if their seats to see if The Golden Truth and Breezango will be broken up!

AD: The new voice of the backstage of Smackdown, Byron Saxton.

CD: WAY backstage we can only hope!

SS: Welcome to the RAW’s women’s division Alicia Fox

AD: Aiden English, you are in.

SS: Jo Jo will be backstage for RAW!

CD: Its time for the brand General Manager Picks!

SS:  The GM of RAW is the man who believes Controversy Creates Cash, Mr. Eric Bischoff.

AD: Smackdown’s General Manager will be………Shawn Michaels.

CD: Okay, I think we have reached the end ladies. Thank you for your time and best of luck to your respective shows. Lord knows this will probably be better than what we see for real.

AD: Because Stephie and I should be running things somewhere!

Supplemental Draft:

RAW:

  • Mauro Renallo
  • Baron Corbin
  • Luke Harper
  • Nikki Bella
  • Tyson Kidd
  • Lana
  • Fandango
  • Braun Strohmann
  • D-Von Dudley
  • Bubba Ray Dudley
  • Erick Rowan
  • Jack Swagger
  • Kane

SMACKDOWN:

  • Simon Gotch
  • Booker T
  • Dana Brooke
  • Jimmy Uso
  • Jey Uso
  • Neville
  • Sin Cara
  • Heath Slater
  • Big Show
  • Bo Dalllas
  • Primo
  • Epico
  • R-Truth

Oh and one more thing, in light of not being selected, Roman Reigns…..WERRRK.com wishes you the best in your future endeavors.

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About Chiffon Dior 467 Articles
Despite being a drag journalist for over five years, Chiffon only recently realized that she missed a golden opportunity back then to change her drag name to Rhoda Story.

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