I heard the rumors, and hoped they were just that…a silence fell across the rumor mill as one by one, better rumors came out for better movies. Then, just moments ago, I see USA Today talking about the new Peanuts movie. To make things worse, a national publication uses the world “adorkable”.
To make matters worse, Paul Feig is producing.
It got me to thinking…why is Peanuts even a thing? Sure, the soundtrack to the gang was dope, who doesn’t love Jazz? I mean the music this time, not the wrestler or American Gladiator.
Seriously, we’ve seemingly been conditioned to love this odd group of kids. A rather boring bunch if I am being honest. Each child seems like they were provided a healthy dose of Ritalin, and this stems from a time before we over-medicated ourselves. Maybe kids were just really boring when the gang first started up.
This past Christmas I set the DVR to record the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, my kids could have cared less. I watched it again; I realized…it really isn’t good. Yeah, boo me, I’m talking about a national treasure…but, really. I get the message, I get the meaning, but, it’s such a weird journey getting there.
Charlie always seems like he is that kid who always needs to go talk to the counselor. Not the brightest crayon in the big box with the built-in sharpener. I mean, all these years and dude is still falling for Lucy’s football okie-doke. Old girl messes with Chuck, then turns around and starts selling cul-de-sac psychiatric advice. Here’s a quarter, go find another nickel therapist and find out why you give Chuck such hell.
Don’t even get me started on the other group of latchkey kids (seriously, where are the parents?). One dude is just dirty as can be. Are Patty and Marcie a couple? Linus been carrying a blanket from birth until that first social security check arrived, and beyond. Snoopy is really the only one with his shit together, and that said, he clearly suffers from multiple personality disorder. Where was Lucy on that diagnosis? One minute the dog is passed out on his house. The next, suddenly he’s a fighter ace, and then he inexplicably becomes Joe Kool.
I’m also to believe his doghouse is basically a TARDIS and just super roomy inside. Why is he just chilling with a little bird?
Look, I’m not saying I hate the gang, they’ve been around 65 years, so, they are obviously doing something right, and clearly there is a generational gap…but, I just can’t figure out the longevity, the revival in commercials, and now they are coming to the big screen this fall.
I really hope in all the decision making they decide to keep the Jazz elements, but, I have a feeling there is some old guy in a conference room who insists that we need to somehow “make it jiggy” for the new generation. I eagerly await Franklin’s rap skills to be put on display, because I just don’t see how they don’t decide that’s a great idea out in Hollywood.
Seems like such an odd move in the year 2015, I just don’t see my kids begging to go see this one. The fresh roast is long gone from the Peanuts, not everything needs to be polished up and put out on display. They served their purpose, whatever that was…let them be. I mean, how sad is the state of affairs in the movie world where a studio got excited about one of the most boring comic strips and follow-on cartoons of all time.
I get it, I’m supposed to like them. Just, no one can seem to tell me why.