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Drag Queens

So You Think You Can Drag? Week 8

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Chiffon Dior: Good morning Paige! Did you put your extra hour from Daylight Savings to good use?

Paige Turner: Yes I’m cleaning! Something weird happened and I found time to clean, plus I found a passed out twink that never left from Halloween, not to mention a Patti Lupone Gypsy playbill and about $4.00 in change. I’m not kidding gurl!

CD: Aren’t those twinks recyclable?

PT: They are usually only good for one time use.

CD: They don’t make things like they used to!

PT: Hellz no.

CD: So let’s talk about the big Halloween edition of So You Think You Can Drag! Hopefully this wasn’t a fun-sized show because those fun-sized candy bars are a joke!

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PT: It was off the hook! I lost my voice screaming during the numbers and was like..oh shit, I’m hosting this thing. It was pretty spooktacular to say the least!

CD: Spooktacular….I see what you did there. So were the performances an American Horror Story or a Nightmare Before Christmas for any of the gurls?

PT: Yes, Schwa de Vivre actually did this American Horror Story thing , which you can see on the recap! We also gave you Wicked, Little Shop of Horrors, Scooby Doo, Malificent, even Sweeney Todd….it was Party City realness doll!

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CD: Scooby Doo? Zoinks! Let me guess, it was the old amusement park owner, wasn’t it?

PT: EVERY number stood out. I must sound like such a bullshitter. Believe me some shows have not been outstanding but this one really was. It’s been the talk of the town which is fantastic because it’s the last one before the finale.

CD: Sounds like an amazing night! So who claimed the win?

PT: Holly Box Springs. She did this whole Carrie thing with six dancers. We are big about no liquids or dangerous stuff but the girls really made it work. She started bleeding from her wig, at least I think it’s a wig.

CD: How did she bleed without liquid?

PT: She had blood capsules in her wig. She’s the one that had her skirt blow with no fan as Marilyn! I’m thinking she should change her name to Claire Voyant.

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CD: How about your numbers?

PT: We opened with Little Shop of Horrors….

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and then I did Once Upon a Time from Brooklyn the Musical and Come Little Children from Hocus Pocus.

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CD: Since this the was the last show before the finale, who made the finals?

PT: Holly and Alexis! Then the producers pick one person but they were tied Schwa and Dusty so they took both gurls for the first time. Then usually the 4th gurl, but in this case the 5th, is audience voting online so the remaining girls are up for that slot and voting ends tomorrow (Monday 11/3) at 3pm. This 5th slot completely changes my idea for the opening number so I have my work cut out for me, but we’ll make it fabulous somehow!

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CD: I’m sure you’re up to the task! How do people vote?

PT: On the Facebook fan page (Vote here!)! You simply Like their pic. If you scroll down, you can see where you vote for the remaining girls. There are only four to vote for though since one is leaving the country.

CD: Oh my God, you’re kicking the one with the least votes out of the country? I had no idea SYTYCD had that kind of stroke!

PT: Sometimes being a bitch is called for! No, actually she was surprised with an Italian vacation and was like…..um that’s wonderful but now I can’t be in the finale!

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CD: Such problems!

PT: Yeah, Which means I can’t bring back everyone for a group number. I’ve already deleted her so it’s all good.

CD: Like she didn’t even exist?

PT: Who? You know that scene where Mommie Dearest cuts out the “Uncle” Greg in all the pics?

CD: Precisely. So what can people expect from the big finale on the 13th?

PT: A surprise performance by a past winner, huge opening and closing numbers then basically a Broadway show, because I feel like most have already done finale-type numbers. You can only go up so I expect it to reach the all time highs for drag in this town! The guest judges hopefully will be a big surprise and be announced very soon as well! The winner get$1000, their own show at the Green room at New World Stages, a photoshoot with acclaimed nightlife photographer Andrew Werner and they get to be on the cover of Get Out magazine, a $100 Ricky’s gift certificate and gift bag and a part in my Christmas show at New World! Pretty great prize huh?!!!

CD: *cough cough* You’re forgetting the best part, a NotSafe4Werk.com basket of swag (and wine)

PT: Yes yes yes! Oh, actually I was just gonna keep that!

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CD: So I assume you have some final plugs for the week?

PT: Yes! No SYTYCD this week and no Slurp! next sunday!! it’s my 4 year anniversary and Therapy is rented out so I guess happy anniversary?! Wednesday is Werk Wednesdays at Hardware bar, Friday I’m hosting a drag competition at Trenton State in New Jersey (I can’t use the F word!) and Saturday i’m at Icon with Sutton Lee Seymour in Queens! Double trouble!

CD: So with no show this Thursday, what are we going to do next week, recap Meet The Press?

PT: OMFG! Let’s do a STATE OF DRAG TALK!

CD: Will mimosas be involved?

PT: Sure, if they come in a box from Trader Joe’s!

CD: If we can just pop straws in, they’ll be like giant Capri Suns!

PT: Exactly! I love a Capri Sun.

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CD: Okay, I need to hop into the shower so I can meet up with, well you. Any final words of wisdom for the week?

PT: It’s anyone’s game at the finale. I’d be very happy with any of these girls winning because I know they have what it takes! If you missed any of the SYTYCD this year then DON’T miss the finale! Slurp!

Written By

(she/her) Despite being a drag journalist for over a decade, Chiffon only recently realized that she missed a golden opportunity back then to change her drag name to Rhoda Story.

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