Sidney Stokes: Poppy Fields – one of the hardest working women in Las Vegas … bar and grill … in Tampa … in the 80s … during Fleet Week. I would ask who you are and how the hell did you get into my house, but we both know that you’re one of the most fabulous glamour girls behind the keyboard at Werrrk.com (and no one doubted you could break into a house). So tell us Poppy, what’s new with you?
Poppy Fields: Oh Sidney … you adorable little Muppet you! What’s new? Well, mostly I’m preparing for Mack & Poppy’s upcoming holiday show (which we’ll get to later, I’m sure) and recovering from a whirlwind tour of the Caribbean Islands over Halloween. I wasn’t performing, I was just … sampling the local fruits.
SS: Poppy, you were one of the chief architects of the Miss NotSafe4Werk.com Pagent. Tell me, how do you feel it went?
PF: I’m thrilled and extremely proud. A great deal of the credit goes to our (slave driver) Lady-In-Charge, Chiffon Dior, for having the idea and executing it so beautifully, and the wonderful contestants that took the plunge and signed on for a lot of hard work. I think it was a great showcase for some of the gals who – up until then – hadn’t had that much national exposure; and it was wonderful for the site, bringing us new fans and some new contributors as well. I had a ball hostessing. It was a lot of hard work, but I’m pleased to say I now know how to swim in a mermaid fin.
SS: If you were a contestant, which challenge would you most want to do?
PF: Well, of course, the “Anything Goes” Talent category, because I’m a live singer like our First Runner-Up, Anita Procedure. That one would have been great fun – the only problem would have been which of my stunning production numbers to feature. Of course, I no longer work with a donkey, since it’s banned in the States, so that would be out of the question.
SS: Which challenge would have been the most daunting if you had competed?
PF: Celebrity Impersonation. It’s hard when one is a personality like myself, adopting the traits of another personality. I had great fun dressing up as Liza Minelli for the introduction of that category, but unfortunately my dear cousin (Christopher Graham) who did my makeup managed to make me look like an Anime harlot.
SS: What do you wish to change for next year?
PF: Well, we’ve discussed having fewer contestants, because the workload was really tough on all of us behind the scenes, as you know. Now, whether or not that happens … only time will tell. Also, I think we will flesh the rules out a bit, particularly regarding video submissions, so the gals are more on an even playing field.
SS: Do you feel your time as Southern Belle and debutante has made you an expert judge?
PF: Growing up as a good Southern Baptist, I feel that passing judgement on others is encoded in my DNA. Heaven knows that nobody on the planet is as discerning and judgmental as a good Deacon’s wife.
SS: Going from the pageant where a video camera was the stage, to an ACTUAL stage…specifically the stage of The Cavern Club (located 1920 HYPERION AVE, Los Angeles CA 90064 on 11/28 at 8pm & 11/29 at 7pm), you and your husband Mack will be putting on yet another holiday spectacular, “Let it Snow”, tickets here!
PF: Yes, and we’re so excited! We didn’t do a holiday show last year because Mack was in reha … um … visiting his family in Hoboken, so we’re very excited to ring in the holiday season at the Cavern Club.
SS: So tell us, Poppy, what inspired the new show?
PF: Cocaine. No … I kid, I kid. We have chosen the best material from our first two holiday shows and added some wonderful new numbers that we really, really love. Hopefully our audiences will enjoy it as much, if not more, as they have in the past!
SS: Walk us through how you conceptualize a show with Mack.
PF: That question confuses me. Mack and “concept” don’t necessarily go together.
SS: How do you decide what makes it in and what doesn’t?
PF: If it’s over eight inches, it makes it in. Trust me.
SS: What is a bit you had to cut but wish would have made it?
PF: Um…Mack’s foreskin, maybe. He’s Jewish, you know.
SS: What is it you do to prepare for a show?
PF: Like most major-league athletes, I find that a good, robust orgasm is just the thing to make me ready for the stage. ‘Course, there was a time when I had the orgasm on the stage, but that was years ago.
SS: What does Mack do to prepare?
PF: A fifth of Jack Daniels, two ding-dongs (not the snack item), and a Halls Mentho-Lyptus.
SS: Speaking of Mack, is it true Zac Efron took out a restraining order on him?
PF: I’m legally forbidden to comment on that. Also, don’t ask me about Hugh Jackman, Michael Fassbender, or Lanie Kazan.
SS: Poppy, do you still, after all these years, love Mack?
PF: Oh yes. He’s like a well-used loafer. He’s seen better days and is a little battered, but he’s comfortable and I love him. Plus, I have Fernando to bang me into next Tuesday when I want.
SS: What’s your favorite song to sing?
PF: Oh, I can’t even begin to answer that one! There are too many, and each song is its own journey. I’m quite partial to a Mack & Poppy hit entitled “Do You Take It in the Ass,” which is a real crowd-pleaser.
SS: What song do you think performers sing too much?
PF: I don’t think enough performers actually sing anymore. How about that?
SS: Who in this world needs a Poppy Fields open palm slap?
PF: Oh, sugar, I don’t have enough hands! Though I’d likely start with Mr. Donald Trump and work my way through the rest of the Republican candidates for President.
SS: What’s the first thing you think when going on stage?
PF: “Tits to the wind, Poppy! Tits to the wind!”
SS: What’s the last thing you think when exiting the show?
PF: “Ass to the ceiling, Poppy! Ass to the ceiling!”
SS: What is your favorite TV show that you are currently watching?
PF: Oh…I’m anxiously awaiting the next season of “Game of Thrones.” It’s the “Shakespeare” of our era, I believe. Plus, you see a lot of peen on that one.
SS: Poppy, as most local stage hands and Bear Bryant can attest, you’re a woman of many talents, but if there is one thing you want the readers of WERRRK.com, to take away from this, that they didn’t know about you before, what would it be?
PF: I’m double-jointed and have no gag reflex.
SS: Lastly, Poppy, I talk to a lot of people who plug a LOT of stuff….but as seasoned pro at chea…err….EXPENSIVE plugs, care to show the girls just how it’s done?
PF: Thank you! Mack & Poppy will be performing in Let It Snow! on Saturday, November 28th at 8pm and Sunday, November 29th at 7pm at the Cavern Club Celebrity Theatre in Casita Del Campo, Silver Lake CA. Tickets are available here. $15 online, and $20 at the door. Also, I’ll be debuting my all-new one-woman show “Poppy Fields: IN HEAT” in Spring of 2016. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, as well as “Mack and Poppy” on Facebook. You can also view my “Drunk Dialing with Poppy Fields” videos on Werrrk.com, and while your there, you can read my “Coffee Corner” articles, which I manage to write whenever I’m not on tour, not hung over, or when I can find my computer.
SS: Thank you so much, Poppy. Give my best to Mack and Fernando.
PF: Thanks, my dear! Now you can go back to being a professional gay. 🙂