My dear friends… I am sad to say that I am back. It is with a heavy heart that I tell you The Walking Dead has returned and the script is at it’s harshest point. I know you all are incredibly sad right now because so am I… But when I signed on for writing “What The Walking Dead”, I vowed to be that glowing light in the tunnel of darkness for all of you. So lets rip this band-aid off quickly so we can try and heal as soon as possible. The sooner we get through this, the sooner we can binge watch “Chrisley Knows Best“.
Nothing. F**k You. Who came up with this column… Oh wait, I did. No but really there was not a single positive moment in this show except for seeing the credits. It was a sigh of relief when the show ended. Honestly I still have so much anxiety, it’s hard for me to concentrate. The acting in this show is incredible. As hard as it is for all of us to say this, but Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan is a perfect match-up. Honestly, his performance this episode was Emmy worthy. Will he win one? Probably not because the Emmys have failed to honor The Walking Dead at all. But all in all, his performance was great. I am slightly excited to see what Negan is up to this coming season, then again I might end up having to use my twenty minutes of sick time for anxiety Chiffon has allotted me.
Every second of this episode was awful. It was well put together, and the suspense was out of this world. I have never felt emotion during a television show like this. Glenn and Abraham dying was so much harder than I could ever have imagined. I mean, we can all agree that Abraham or Eugene was the goal. Those bastards KNEW we wanted it to be Abraham. So they gave us what we wanted, AND killed Glenn just to ruin us.. This is some bull s**t. Also, I really thought we were going to watch Rick chop his son’s arm off. I felt like I was there and it was terrible. What the hell is going on? I want my mommy! People were actually crying during my viewing party and I don’t blame them. Luckily, I have no soul so this type of episode can’t break me. But if it was Carol, I admit I would be a mess. I can honestly say I will never watch this episode again. This episode topped “The Red Wedding” of Game of Thrones in terms of brutality (not characters).
Tonight’s award goes to Glenn. Not because he did a great job this episode. He had his brains blown out with a baseball bat. No, Glenn wins this award because he has been on this show since I was 14. I will never forget the day I first started watching this show. It was after I finished my first “Zombie Blood Run“, a charity organization where people dress up like zombies and chase charity runners (or you can sign up to be a zombie). I came home one day after the event covered in zombie make-up and I decided to keep the zombie energy going with starting a new show. I was in college at this point so I had plenty of alone time to binge shows. It’s absolutely CRAZY to me that the character who died last night was the same guy who was saving Rick from that tank in season 1. It feels like almost a part of me has died. Glenn has been a huge pillar in the foundation of this show and it’s hard to picture what it’ll be like without him. We will miss you Glenn.
This season is sure to be rough. Daryl was just taken. Rick has gone as soft as plushy pillow pet. Maggie is most likely looking at a miscarriage in the next 15 minutes. But remember, as long as we have Carol… There is hope in this cruel world. Try to have a positive day everyone. Come back next week so we can figure out why there is a real-life cartoon character with a pet tiger?