Hey! What are you all doing in my house? I’m not even dressed, where are your manners! Don’t you know who I am? I am Spencer, the Deputy Editor at WERRRK! Oh, wait I think it’s coming back to me. You are here for the latest “Racing with Haley” recap regarding last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Ah yes I forgot, Haley is currently traveling. If I were to guess where, I would say probably filming for a new episode of Naked and Afraid? Well not really but that is what my excuse would be. You hear that Discovery Channel… I am the perfect candidate for you damn it! Anyways, even after I got home from seeing the new Avengers: Infinity War movie I still had time to plop myself on the couch and watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. So, let’s talk about “Merch Madness” shall we!?

The Elimination

Well we start off the episode in a pretty dark place, especially if your name is Spencer and/or you live in California. Mayhem Miller is gone… and too soon if I may add! Mayhem is a f***ing legend and she deserves that crown. Yes I will admit that pink denim dress she wore was a tad *ahem* ugly. However, Mayhem brought a level of class, talent, and beauty to this competition that was so incredibly unique and refreshing. Mayhem for All-Stars 4! Anyways, the queens come back and Monét X. Change was pretty shook after being in the bottom two for the second time in a row. I love Monét so it is time she kicks it up into high gear! The queens spark up some conversation and Monique Heart makes fun of Monét’s outfit (rightfully so). This scene was rather quick and to the point unlike most episodes.

A Fax Machine?

This week’s mini challenge was… interesting. Our queens were tasked with the challenge of sitting on a object of some kind. then having to correctly guess the object. I am not sure what this has to do with being America’s Next Drag Superstar but I guess the kids may find this amusing. I am so glad I stayed up last night in order to watch our queens try and sit on a fax machine, a traffic cone, an eggplant, and a large cake. First of all, how in the hell did Asia O’Hara guess she was sitting on a fax machine? Personally I don’t know many people who have sat on fax machines so I don’t see how Asia could be blessed with this skill. What did me in was watching some of the unfortunate queens having to sit on a cake. I felt like taking a shower after this moment, and showered I did! Sometimes these mini challenges are fun, and sometimes you have to give a good eye roll. Asia O’Hara won the mini challenge and earned herself a $2,000 hair care package from Art Lab Salon.

Merch Madness

For this weeks main challenge, our queens had to break up into groups and create a RuPaul’s Drag Con panel focused on either body, hair, or makeup. The teams split up in three ways. Eureka, Monét, and Kameron Michaels represented Team Body. Aquaria, Monique Heart, and Asia O’Hara were Team Makeup. Then we had Miz Cracker, Blair St. Clair, and The Vixen assigned to Team Hair. Honestly, I felt like all of these were pretty decent group pairings. Cracker is known for her hair so that works. Eureka and Kameron are prefect examples of body. Aquaria, Monique, and Asia are pretty amazing at makeup so I feel pretty good. It can be anyone’s game.

First we get to see Team Body. I loved this panel! Eureka was an excellent moderator. She kept the ball rolling with perfect transitions. Monét’s humor was on point and it was good to see her back on point. Plus, Kameron came out of her shell a little and felt so passionate. At this point I couldn’t see how this performance could be topped. Next we saw Team Makeup. At first the panel took off in a excellent direction. Monique was really killing it as a moderator. In my opinion, Monique is by far the underrated queen of this season. Monique is gold! Asia and Aquaria did okay but once they started doing examples, they kept talking over each other. It got messy and confusing. I wanted to scream! At this point the queens better hope they turn out their runway or they are in trouble. Finally we get to see Team Hair which I quite excited for.  The panel was funny at first, but the interactions between Cracker and Vixen just got kind of dry. Blair was pretty lost throughout the whole panel. The nail in the coffin was the shade being thrown that turned out to be more mean, and less funny.

 Hats Incredible

This weeks runway theme was focused all on outfits surrounding hats! Oh, this my favorite part. Lucky for you guys I am a little bit of a fashion expert so let’s do this “A Haute Second with Spencer” style! Bring it to the runway!

Well I really loved this weeks runway. Miz Cracker slayed my life with a hat made out of hair. It stayed true to the theme yet in the best Miz Cracker way! I absolutely loved Monét’s color blocked church outfit. My other top three look has to go to Asia’s dandelion look. That was so fierce!

I was not a huge fan of Aquaria’s look. It felt a little basic for me from the neck down. The hat was a cool idea, but I just didn’t love the execution. The Vixen’s outfit was pretty messy. Vixen’s outfits tend to always like home made and not in a good way. Lastly I did not like Eureka’s outfit. Euereka’s fashion just does not excite me. I really tried to like it this week. The cape and should piece was sickening but everything else is a miss for me. Sorry, but not sorry!

Judgment Time

To no surprise, Team Body won the challenge! Good! I really feel like this team deserved this win. However, Eureka took the overall win instead of Monet. I feel Monet’s runway look far surpassed Eureka’s look but whatever. In the words of one of my favorite queens of all time; Mariah Balenciaga, “I’m feeling entertained, amused. The judges are interesting, their judgment was interesting.” Team Makeup was safe which feels pretty right. They weren’t awful and their runway looks were pretty awesome sans Aquaria. This left Team Hair in the bottom. This critique ended up hitting a pretty personal note with Blair St. Clair which moved her to open up about her struggle with sexual abuse from a few years back. This revelation was both shocking but also important which gives us a moment to think about some of the real issues at hand and how we can fight back! Please take a moment to join the movement, and end sexual violence by learning more about Me Too. You are not alone. Thank you Blair for sharing your story. We love you! Cracker killed with the hair hat and ended up safe. Which means the Lip Sync would be between The Vixen and Blair St. Claire. The queens lip synced to “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. Honestly after watching the lip sync, I felt like it could have gone either way. Personally I feel like Blair did better… Well, not really I guess The Vixen had a little bit more fire. Either way, Blair ended up parting ways which is pretty upsetting. Blair is so amazing and she will be missed for sure! I was just starting to like her! WHY?

What a fun episode! I loved it. Even better, next week will be SNATCH GAME! Oh gosh I can’t wait. My crystal ball is telling me Miz Cracker is going to knock this out of the park. If not Cracker, then it will be Monét. So set your fantasy league teams! Well this has been fun. Next week, your loyal Haley will be back! So thank you Haley for having me. If you guys enjoyed listening to me blab, you can check out my weekly Westworld recap known as “Westwords with Spencer“. There is a new recap every Monday or you can check out my often fashion recaps on my “Haute Second with Spencer” column. Okay kids, it’s been real. I will see you all at the REAL RuPaul’s Drag Con. Come say hi!