Now three weeks into their residence in the WERRRK.com fallout shelter, Sidney and Spencer are starting to get a little stir crazy…. and hungry. With nothing but a freezer full of diet ice cubes, the duo begin to hallucinate and hear voices. The only thing keeping their sanity, is watching American Horror Story: Apocalpyse. After their episode two transcript was released last week, the duo were made aware that they are not coming out of this shelter until the bitter end. Below is their recorded transcript for episode three.

SIDNEY: THEYYYYYY’RE HERE! Sidney Joel and Spencer Joel that is….oh, and I guess some witches too!

SPENCER: Did somebody say sandwiches?!

CHIFFON DIOR’S VOICE FROM SHELTER SPEAKERS: You two are both on the DragCon diet….and have EIGHT MONTHS TO GET IT TOGETHER! Sidney….I CAN SEE THE MCDONALD’S ORDER ON YOUR POSTMATES! Have some diet ice!

Just Another Day in Outpost 3

SIDNEY: Spencer….do I have to get a jetpack to get you from Cloud 9?

SPENCER: Well Sidney, this episode was a roller coaster for me. Yes, I have had a bottle of wine but that is beside the point. The Supreme has returned and I couldn’t be happier. But, I must say that the time leading up to Cordelia’s entrance was uh…well a little strange for me.

SIDNEY: Oh yeah, how so!

SPENCER: Well I just felt that this episode was a little all over the place. Langdon and Mallory had their very brief supernatural showdown. Kathy Bates is playing a robot and I can’t figure out why? Next thing you know everyone is eating these poisonous apples and vomiting all over each other. On top of that, Billy Eichner showed up as his mutated self and killed his girlfriend. AND THEN, the cast from Coven walked into the shelter and brought three of the girls back to life. Is the room spinning?

SIDNEY: Yeah, but that’s just the wine.

SPENCER: What did you think?

SIDNEY: I think the episode was like that, but I do think the season could afford to expand a little. We’ve been trapped in the Outpost as well so seeing the outside was nice to see what’s going on outside, even if just for a moment.

SPENCER: I would definitely agree. Going outside the Outpost just a little made a huge difference. It’s crazy how we almost feel trapped within the outpost with the survivors.

SIDNEY: I think that’s one of the cooler part of the seasons. They are playing with atmospheric feeling unlike any other season I can remember.

The Return of The Coven

SIDNEY: So since you are chomping at the bit to discuss it, you want to get on your broom and start us off?

SPENCER: 1,702 Days…. It’s been 1,702 days since the witches of Cordelias’s coven have been on our screen! I am beyond excited. They all looked incredible. Cordelia Foxx looked amazing. I made an audible gasp when I got my close-up on Myrtle Snow. Plus, Madison gave us her iconic, “I bet you thought you saw the last of me” line. Oh wow is it my birthday? In terms of this new Coven plot. I think this could be a lot of fun. Clearly there is something demonic about Langdon, so perhaps it is Mallory’s destiny to destroy Langdon, the hand of evil. Is Mallory the next Supreme? Whatever the case may be, Cordelia is here for a reason and I am here to know why.

SIDNEY: It really was so cool to see them all. Yeah…they all looked great and they walked in with the mystery. Myrtle Snow, how or why is she back? It’ll play into why others will show back up. I also love how they just walked in with fucking P-U-R-P-O-S-E!

SPENCER:  To me it is clear that Cordelia has now mastered the skill of resurrection, something she really learned from the life of Misty Day. That said she was likely able to bring back Myrtle, Madison, and even members of this outpost. This raises the question, were these three resurrected girls’ witches this whole time and they didn’t know it? Were they members of Miss Robichaux’s Academy and we just didn’t see that on-screen? Cordelia has really lived up to becoming a very powerful Supreme, something her mother was known quite well for.

SIDNEY: So do you think that the others are trapped in the bodies of the witches revived, or is this actually just a set up for Chanel # 3 vs The Antichrist?

SPENCER: Hmmm, that would be interesting. But then, there are pictures released by Ryan Murphy showing all of these characters together.  So you are saying someone like Zoe could be trapped in Coco’s body? Coco would be older than Zoe. You didn’t tell me there was going to be a math test. Honestly with this show, anything is possible. I am still waiting for the Nazi aliens to show up?

SIDNEY: The Devil is older than Sister Mary Eunice but he STILL took over her body.

SPENCER: Don’t you dare bad talk Sister Mary Eunice!

SIDNEY: I mean the show wasted her but you still stan the season. sips tea

The Devil is in the Details

SIDNEY: I’m glad Leslie Grossman isn’t gone. She’s so good every time she is on-screen.

SPENCER: Yes Leslie was such a good addition to this franchise. I still think she should have been nominated in Cult but whatever. What about Billy Eichner surviving the bombs in Santa Monica and somehow finding the shelter.

SIDNEY: mean I never thought Eichner would just show up to die. I love him here and with her. I think he’ll be back.

SPENCER: I just thought it was a little cheesy he happened to find a horse-drawn carriage that took him to the Outpost. That’s all I’m saying, otherwise Eichner is always welcome.

SIDNEY: Oh…oh THAT is where you’re applying the cheese to AHS? I think he’s going to become a bad-ass bodyguard for the witches.

SPENCER: Oh he can be the new Spalding!

SIDNEY: Do you think all the others are gone?

SPENCER: I kind of hope the others are dead. I liked Mr. Gallant so I am kind of sad about that. Other than that I think the other characters were just taking up space. Oh but I really liked Sarah Paulson’s evil character. But if she had to die for Cordelia to return then I’ll take a seat.

SIDNEY: Yeah, if Venebal is gone, that’s fine. It was odd they spent time developing the two young people, to the point they gave the guy backstory only to kill them. Maybe Langdon brings them back with the hope it gives him allies.

SPENCER: Oh that’s a good theory! I thought it was weird they would be killed off too.

SIDNEY: Want to know what got me choked up?

SPENCER: What got you choked up?

SIDNEY: That Ms. Mead is programmed to be like Constance.

SPENCER: I know that is so cool! I want a robot programmed to carry the spirit of Jessica Lange in my household. I was a little confused about the whole android thing at first but this makes so much more sense now.  That scene where everyone died though, had me pretty shook I won’t lie. That is graphic. When I watch other people throw up, I tend to follow suit.

SIDNEY: It was gross but so on brand.

SPENCER: It definitely made not want to reheat the snake I have in the fridge, I’ll tell you that.

In Summation

SPENCER: “If you all I need to do to pass an interview with the Anti-Christ is cry…. I got this in the bag! The main point of this episode is to prove that the spirit of Carrie Fisher is the key to beating the apocalypse. Once again, I am tired of all of these motherfucking snakes, in this motherfucking outpost. Cyborg Kathy Bates is giving us Jessica Lange realness. Good luck trying to explain that on Halloween. I am definitely going to think twice before I go bobbing for apples at Sidney’s Halloween party. Did I mention I tend to get nauseous when I watch other people throw up… You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good… Timothy and Emily are dead. Good. BEHOLD, OUR REIGNING SUPREME! Screams into pillow and passes out“

SIDNEY: “I’m too Jewish to throw my mom under the bus to the Antichrist. Someone needs to explain that Americans aren’t Mossad agents. Caprica Six thinks Mead needs to get it together. So glad the show realizes how ‘relentlessly boring’ that young couple actually was. The new season of Billy on the Street is WILD! Probably still not Coco’s worst Halloween hangover. Venebal is exactly the type that WOULD give fruit out on Halloween instead of Candy. Madison Montgomery remains a mood.”

The duo now must make curfew and head back to their lonely bunks within the fallout shelter. Don’t worry they will be fed… eventually. Thank you for joining Sidney and Spencer for Episode 3 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Come back next week for another explosive recap, only at WERRRK.com!