Five weeks into their residence within the WERRRK.com fallout shelter, Sidney and Spencer are starting to become accustomed to their new home. Now fans of the darkness, are starting to find comfort by speaking to the multiple ghosts that haunt the shelter. The main thing keeping them grounded is watching American Horror Story: Apocalypse. After their episode four transcript raised some eyebrows, the duo have come to terms that they may never want to leave the depths of this dark fallout shelter.  Below is their recorded transcript for episode five.

Sidney Stokes: Spencer…come out of your room. Spencer…stop crying….I have In & Out!

Spencer Williams: Leave me alone, damn it! This is my moment!

SS: Okaayyyyy…..well I’ll just have to eat this Double -Double all by myselllllfffffff.

SW: Well. I could just have a quick bite?

*Spencer comes out of room…to no In N Out*

 SW: Got me again, damn you! 

Cordelia’s Vision

SW: Oh wow, this was quite the episode. I literally want to talk about every minute of this episode so perhaps we should go in order, starting with Cordelia’s very colorful vision. Welcome back everyone to another edition of “What the Walking Dead”!

SS: Yeah, I didn’t sign up for a crossover because, quite frankly, I’m not gonna clean up for when Carol shows up as the next supreme and you explode.

SW: Let’s not do that right now. Crap, where is my Carol fan-fiction journal?

SS: It was def jarring seeing the school destroyed but so on brand for Cordelia to have such an awful dream. Can she have like…ONE good thought?

SW: My dad would say she needs to drink more milk before bed. I just loved that on-brand Sarah Paulson scream. It gets me every time. I’m just glad that this was a dream and not a reality. At least not yet.

SS: I mean I think they are building to the reality. Lol, remember when this season was about people in a bunker and now they’re all dead.

SW: Ha! What bunker? I’m starting to feel like Chiffon has us in this bunker for no reason at this point?

SS: Yeah, it’s a her weird Kimmy Schmidt thing. Chiffon is actually Jon Hamm, it’s…a thing.

SW: Yes, I love the fact that they are building up all of this backstory! Assuming of course, they circle back to the original apocalypse plot. I don’t want any open ended questions at the end of this season.

Test of the Seven Wonders

 SS: Does it make you nervous that everyone is back but we only see Madison, Myrtle, and Cordelia show when it gets back to the future?

SW: Uh… yes. I’m trying not to think about it. However, this show is so unpredictable so who knows what’ll happen. Perhaps the others are at the Sanctuary? Maybe Stevie Nicks took the others to her magical kingdom in the woods? There are unlimited possibilities here.

SS: Can we discuss the elephant in the room

SW: Why is Satanist Kathy Bates driving a Prius?

SS: That is because this is on a Fox owned network. But close…Cheyenne Jackson got a title credit for 15 minutes of work.

SW: Yeah that was odd. I was really growing to like his character too. 

SS: Oh I have one question. Cordelia had Michael go get Misty Day, was that a challenge? I mean he kinda showed he did it…and then some.

SW: Yeah you know what Michael did… THAT.

SS: Right….but he had already DONE it….twice. Why did she think he wouldn’t be able to?

SW: Yeah I didn’t understand her logic. Like we all knew he was going to give us exactly what we want. Cordelia is just stalling at this point.

SS: Also, what does it say that Cordelia is already fading and she’s been the supreme for like, what, 5 years? Maybe she should wish she were more like her mother. Fiona wouldn’t have taken half this shit.

SW: Yeah step it up Cordelia you are embarrassing me in front of my friends. If Cordelia isn’t strong enough, can I nominate Myrtle Snow?

SS: Why not, you’re gonna anyways

SW: Don’t act like you know me!!!…but yeah, I’m going to.

The White Witch

SW: Okay… okay! Can we talk about that one part now?

SS: Sigh Yes, go ahead…

SW: Well first I am just glad that Ryan Murphy put an end to my own personal hell, and brought Misty back from hers. Then as a reward for my patience, we were visited by The White Witch! I could just cry all night long!

SS: Stevie Nicks showing up as a witch for this show might be the most batshit thing they’ve done but it works.

SW: I mean did you hear her sing Gypsy? I felt the magic through my television screen.

SS: I like that they are playing with the timeline. It’s basically them telling two seasons in one but weaving it to keep the story fresh and interesting but not feel like they are wasting seasons worth of material *glares at Asylum*

SW: It’s so interesting and really has such a refreshing feeling. After Roanoke, this show really had to do some soul searching and I think Cult really brought the show back from the dead and got our attention. Now Apocalypse has fully restored the good name and giving us the content we have been demanding!

SS: Yeah it doesn’t feel scary, but it feels exciting.

SW: The only thing scary is the constant fear of something terrible happening to any of the Coven characters… Hasn’t 2018 claimed enough?

In Summation

SS: They have no intention of explaining to you why Myrtle is back. I’d be pissed if I were Coco, leaving behind the coin she must have gotten in Beverly Hills with that power would piss me off too. Cheyenne Jackson may have gotten a title credit for 15 minutes of screen time. Misty’s hell being middle school was honestly too real. Stevie Nicks lol….she’s a witch. Serving lewks isn’t just in Billy Porter’s DNA…it’s in his rider.

SW: Next time Cordelia has a dream full of Walkers, she should really dream up a modified baseball bat named Lucille. Does surviving 2018 count as passing the Seven Wonders test? Misty Day returning back from the dead was the motivation I needed to get through the rest of this year. Cordelia is fading faster than a 10 piece Chicken McNugget meal at Sidney’s house. I hope we get a spin off show based around the adventures of satanic Kathy Bates and her Prius of death. Stevie Nicks is a fucking legend and I just feel blessed to be on the same planet as her. Hey look, the scientist who created the Indominus Rex is playing Gypsy on the piano.

SS: Well I might not know what’s next but I’m VERY excited for next week.

SW : Uh… yes! I cannot wait. The original star of American Horror Story is returning…I’m not ready.

SS: If I get In and Out will you be ready?

SW: …. What were we talking about again?

The duo now must now head back to their lonely bunks within the fallout shelter. Don’t worry they will be return next week after they listen to the same Stevie Nicks record on repeat. Thank you for joining Sidney and Spencer for Episode 5 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Enjoy a preview of next week’s episode below.