Seven weeks into their residence within the WERRRK.com fallout shelter, Sidney and Spencer have returned from their brief field trip to The Murder House. Now with a taste of the outside world, the duo are starting to become restless. The only thing keeping them grounded is watching American Horror Story: Apocalypse, as well as practicing their spells. Below is their recorded transcript for episode seven. To view last weeks transcript, follow this link now.

Sidney: Well we’re back from our Murder House vacay. I love a farmhouse kitchen! Wanna know what I love more than that?

Spencer: Colby Jack Cheese?

Sidney: No, not cheese…

Spencer: Courtney Cox’s lime green suit in Scream?

Sidney: Which you better be sewing for me right now!

Spencer:  I am! I am living in a fallout shelter for no apparent reason anymore, so I have to keep myself busy!

The Return of Joan Collins

Sidney: Ugh, I love JOAN COLLINS!

Spencer: Yes! I literally love her so much! Can I just say that ‘A Christmas To Dismember’ featuring Bubbles McGee actually looked like a real hit. I’d go see that. Kudos to Ryan Murphy for giving us this incredible ‘Tales From the Crypt‘ Easter egg.

Sidney: Yeah it seemed deep! Well, what did we think about Joan’s return to the show?

Spencer: Well I just want to start by saying that the first two episodes seem like so long ago. Did Wilhemina Venable even exist or was I just having another dark dream? Joan Collins fits in to this show with utmost perfection. Pairing Joan and Frances Conroy as screen partners was one of Ryan Murphy’s best decisions this season, among many others.

Sidney: Oh agreed. I’m glad she was so much more than what she appeared. I love knowing she was more important. The structure of this season reminds me of how Murphy told ‘ACS: Versace’ but it works to make this super interesting. It works for Murphy because he kind of gets to start the season over a couple times but all building to a larger story

Spencer: It definitely is starting to resemble the ‘Versace’ format. I just hope that he leaves us enough time to give the apocalypse plot time to play-out.

Sidney: Agreed. How many episodes do we have left?

Spencer: Mmmm I read this morning that after tonight, we only have 3 left? I hope I am wrong.

Sidney: Oh fuckk. Well then yeah, maybe one more? I think it’s great how they are building and giving the other actors a chance to do something else. I’m hoping it doesn’t stick the landing because right now what they are doing is working.

The Voodoo Queen

Spencer: It’s amazing to me how many nostalgic moments have been presented in this season. Every single episode I am surprised with something. This episode’s surprise happened during the Voodoo sequence!

Sidney: Yeah it was good to see them again. I thought Adina Porter was great. Her conversation with Cordelia and the way they used vivid greens, juxtapose that with the post apocalypse world we started with. …it’s the same season

Spencer: I love that whole scene. The return of Papa Legba and Nan was everything I could have ever hoped for. It makes me happy knowing Nan has spent this entire time enjoying Hell. Like, you go girl.

Sidney: She’s that girl!

Spencer: I can just imagine all of the brochures to Hell, all with Nan’s face on the cover.

Michael Vs. Cordelia

Sidney: I’m glad that Michael is such a strong presence in the show, even when he isn’t there like this one.

Spencer: Yeah it was nice having a break from Michael, that way Cordelia could really kind of take over the show for an episode. But his presence was still felt the entire time.

Sidney: It felt great to be in the Coven house. I like how the vibe is much brighter as opposed to what it felt like when we were last there in Coven.

Spencer: There is such a stronger, positive vibe. I totally agree with you. The entire season of Coven had a very dark undertone but now the academy feels really pure. I think that is thanks to the leadership of Cordelia, and her faith in her girls.

Surprise Bitch

Sidney: I loved that they got rid of the Warlock’s and justified that opening credits role for Cheyenne.

Spencer: Yeah if Cheyenne’s character had to die so I could get that picture of all of the witches walking down the dark street, then it was worth it. Might I say, he was reborn an even bigger badass. Speaking of being reborn, they answered our questions about Myrtle!

Sidney: YASSSSS! It was beautiful. I loved it. So glad we got that moment.

Spencer: I had no idea what she was doing, but when it happened I felt like crying. BALENCIAGA!

Sidney: I loved the badassness of Cordelia disposing of those two. I almost wish Kathy Bates had told them who Michael was so they died realizing they were wrong.

Spencer: That would have been perfect. I do think that the leader warlock probably knew, he just didn’t care. Because misogynists are pathetic, and deserve to be burnt.

Sidney: He didn’t, Kathy Bates told Michael not to tell him. They didn’t want them to know

Spencer: Oh, oh yeah. You are right.

In Summation

Sidney: Beverly Hills Becky’s are savage. Bubbles is too. We will never have a dinner as fabulous as that. Nan is that girl….good for her. That calorie counting power could be an Apocalypse to most major cities. They teach witchcraft at Miss Robichaux’s, not the Heimlich. BD Wong was so gagged sitting across from Joan, that’s what he was actually thinking. Cheyenne can reappear in my room, thanks. Kathy Bates shoulda yelled out “HOT TOPIC!” as she burned.

Spencer: I don’t know how I could forgive Angela Bassett for not returning for this season, but Adina Porter is MORE THAN a good start. Honestly, Nan can you take us with you? I am not even going to ask why Misty Day is somehow missing again. Hopefully this show ends with a lightsaber battle between Papa Legba and Michael Langdon. Ryan Murphy should consider bringing this Christmas movie to life. I am sexually attracted to Joan Collins. There, I said it. I’m sorry, are you choking on a snowball? I told you all, Carrie Fisher’s daughter will be our next supreme! Being burnt at stake actually looks pretty fun. The fashion is just incredible! BALENCIAGA!

Spencer: Speaking of, is it wrong I am warming up to the idea of having Sarah Paulson burn me at the stake?

Sidney: Yeah I think Chiffon and I would support you there

Spencer: I volunteer as tribute! All in all, this was a pretty amazing episode. I just love this season so much. I have no shame.

Sidney: …the WERRRK.com HR team is aware.

The duo now must now head back to their lonely bunks within the fallout shelter. Don’t worry they will be return next week, assuming they don’t choke on a snowball. Thank you for joining Sidney and Spencer for Episode 4 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Enjoy a preview of next week’s episode below.