Hey, Kitty Girls! Can you believe how long we’ve gone without RuPaul’s Drag Race on our television screens? It seemed like RuPaul was busting out season after season, one after another. Now that we’ve had a brief time to rest, who is ready for the gay Superbowl?! Season twelve’s cast is great and I can’t wait to chat about our favorite show together every week!

This season opened with a political reference which allows me the perfect opportunity to remind you to GO VOTE! Your rights depend on it. Anyway, what followed was my favorite part of every season! The entrance looks! I’ll spare you the details of everyone’s looks but I gotta say, I loved Nicky Doll, Gigi Goode, and wait… that’s it? Ru played the shemail video with only seven queens in tow! Brita, Crystal Methyd, Jackie Cox, Heidi N. Closet, Widow Von’Du, Nicky, and Gigi were in the first group of queens to take the workroom. Ru announced there would be not one premiere, but TWO.

The first mini-challenge was fashion week inspired. Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, and Raven joined Ru to watch the show. The queens had to serve spring and fall looks. Very season seven without the Violet Chachki moment. I must say, I was a bit underwhelmed by the looks on the runway. I loved Gigi’s spring look and Jackie’s fall looks, though. Personality-wise, Heidi really shined for me during this challenge. She is so endearing!

Mini challenge number one came to a close, so it was time to see everyone out of drag! I don’t know what my favorite sound bite from this moment was. Maybe Nicky calling lemurs ‘lemuriens’ or Crystal admitting she has a One Direction tattoo in Arabic although she can’t speak the language. What a group we have here.

Ru and his funky hat were back to announce the challenge. The queens had to perform a rap song in front of Nicki Minaj. No pressure, y’all. The song was called ‘I’m that bitch’ because of course, it was. Jackie Cox wrote lyrics that saved my life. “Shady, shady, Peter Brady”. Wow, a tear-jerker!

Episode one and everyone were already confessing their inability to dance. Heidi and Widow were in charge of making choreography that these queens could grasp. What a challenge! This is an intense opening challenge. Usually, they save this tricky stuff for the finale, right? It was pure chaos. Widow was frustrated. Everyone had ideas but no one could put together any moves. It gave me a headache and I wasn’t even there.

So, the rehearsal went terrible. But no one had a rougher night than Heidi. Heidi went to the hospital with an allergic reaction! She got one hour of sleep and was running on adrenaline. After she opened up about that Jackie shared her personal experience with cultural homophobia. She’s nervous at the thought of other Persian people seeing her loud and proud about her Persian culture while being a drag queen. Stories like this are so important for other LGBT community members to hear and know they have someone to relate them.

It was Nicki Minaj’s Drag Race when the music sounded and it was time to hit the mainstage! She walked down the runway first in Ru’s place, which was great. She eventually took her correct spot on the judge’s panel next to Michelle and Carson.

The rap performance was a bit… Rough. But it was fun enough! Heidi stole the show for me during the performance. She did great! The runway wasn’t disappointing, however. I loved Crystal’s crazy devil look, The fact that Gigi made her debut on the runway in a pantsuit, and Jackie’s Valley of the Dolls inspired look. Widow’s homage to Judy Jetson is an honorable mention.

Time for the judge’s critiques! Brita received high praise for her looks but Michelle was disappointed her lyrics didn’t explain who she really was. Crystal got praise for her looks and lyrics, as well as Gigi. Nicki asked Heidi how she got her name, to which she replied that ‘straight’ guys were constantly trying to get with her. So, Heidi N. Closet. Get it? Incredible. Her other option? Sasha Nicole Fierce. Very different brands here but I love it. She also stated that she thinks her allergic reaction may have come from something she ate for the first time… Kale! Ugh, she’s the best. Jackie Cox was next to hear critiques and they were all great. From her fashion to her rap, she nailed it. Nicky was given high praise for her looks but she fell flat during the performance. Finally, Widow was up. Nicky loved her lyrics and performance. A lot of strong competitors here.

RuPaul's Drag Race: I'm That Bitch 4

RuPaul faked us all out. He made it seem as though all queens were safe but Gigi and Widow. The joke was on us, they were the top two of the night! No one was going home! To pick a winner, Gigi and Widow had to lip-sync to Nicki’s Starship in front of her! Widow killed it with her performance, but Gigi was also incredible! How one person can be so gorgeous yet so goofy is beyond me. I really loved this performance! It was Widow who took home the first win of the season in the end!

RuPaul's Drag Race: I'm That Bitch 5

Can you believe we get to do this all over again next week?! See you for premier round two next week!

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One small brushfire away from completing the Serial Killer Triad, Haley is a hell-raising college student and sports journalist. Calling the suburbs of the gayest city in America home, she's sure to bring it to you every ball.

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