Henry Cavill broke the internet (or at least put a dent in it) when he uploaded a video of himself building a computer to Youtube and Instagram. Some fans lauded Cavill’s technical prowess. Others were distracted by the actor’s quarantine beard and brooding good looks.
We, on the other hand, were left scratching our heads wondering what just happened. Watch the video below, then let’s run through some of the most pressing questions…
Question 1: What’s Up With These Curtains?
The video opens with Cavill showing off his tech haul, which feels very on-brand for everyone’s third favorite Superman. However, the scene goes off the rails the minute you notice the backdrop.
What’s with the floral drapes? Is Cavill producing a one-person reboot of Sound Of Music and needs to sew those curtains into play clothes for the children he nannies? Does he live part-time in a retirement facility in Des Moine, Iowa? Or is Henry Cavill just embracing the #CottageCore movement?
Question 2: Is That Barry White?
The answer is yes. Yes, it is Barry White. Why? We have no idea.
The iconic singer/songwriter and two-time Grammy Award winner provides a sensual 70’s funk soundtrack for Cavill’s engineering skills. Did the vintage curtains inform the song choice or vice versa?
Either way, the use of White’s sultry song You’re the First, the Last, My Everything leads to our next question…
Question 3: Am I supposed to be turned on?
The music. The muscles. The oddly erotic text. The finger rubbing. Why is this so friggin’ hot? Even the caption on Cavill’s post is suggestive, reading, “All The Parts This kind of material isn’t for everyone….viewer discretion is advised. You may see a lot of parts that you haven’t seen before.”
Have we finally reached the point of our dystopian pandemic nightmare in which robots and men join together to make internet thirst traps? Is this the future we deserve?
Question 4: Is This…Marketing?
They say never read the comments, but in times of great confusion, we sometimes make terrible decisions.
A quick scan of the replies shows that the post is filled with responses from horny fans and hornier social media marketers. Gaming and computer companies like AMD, NVIDIA, and Razer all tried to score some brand recognition with comments that ranged from advertising their products to attempts to friend request Cavill on the popular gaming platform Steam.
I don’t know if the action star’s timelapse convinced me to invest in a high-end gaming PC – mostly because I’m an idiot who can barely assemble a Turkey Club – but the video did make me consider buying a Navy tank top and maybe a better body to go with it.
QUESTION FIVE: Is Henry Cavill okay?
By minute three of the five and a half minute video, the whole thing starts to feel less like a celebrity PR stunt and more like a cry for help.
As day turns to night, we watch Cavill labor over complicated instruction manuals, delicately connect wires, and struggle through software issues. Is this what the British do for fun? Is Henry Cavill lonely? Is quarantine turning the 37-year old actor into a mad (computer) scientist?
More importantly, remember the good old days when the only celebrity hobbies we had to worry about were divorce and cocaine?
QUESTION SIX: Is There A Sequel Coming?
In true summer blockbuster fashion, Cavill ends his two-day journey with the promise this is “just the beginning.” We can only assume the next installment will be as thrilling as the first. Maybe he’ll record himself sorting junk mail or constructing a perfectly organized excel spreadsheet?
Regardless of the activity, as long as Cavill keeps bending over in front of the camera we’ll keep watching.