Four weeks into their residence within the WERRRK.com fallout shelter, Sidney and Spencer are starting to develop supernatural powers. Now starved and delirious, the duo have started to play with fire and talk to the random snakes. The only thing keeping them grounded is watching American Horror Story: Apocalypse. After their episode three transcript was released last week, the duo have come to terms that they may never escape the depths of this dark fallout shelter. Below is their recorded transcript for episode four.
Sidney: Well everyone, welcome to Sidney’s Fallout. Spencer has perished from the amount of “Yasssss” he gave to this episode
Chiffon Dior’s Voice From Shelter Speakers: Without him you have to go back to doing Drag Con interviews by yourself.
(Sidney frantically performs resurrection spell on Spencer)
Spencer: Ahhhh! Behold, our Supreme! Thanks for resurrecting me Sidney. My personal hell was terrifying, as I had to repeatedly relive the 2016 election on loop.
Sidney: Ahem… You’re welcome!
Behold, Our Supreme!
Spencer: So this episode starts with Cordelia Foxx leading Myrtle Snow and Madison Montgomery through the halls of Outpost 3. Category is, how many fierce looks can you give the camera in thirty seconds?
Sidney: In honor of Mean Girls day, the limit does not exist. So looks like the theory that the three bunker witches are characters from the Coven and that makes more sense. The longer the week went on, the dumber that started to sound.
Spencer: Well you weren’t the only one with that theory, so it didn’t sound that dumb. Turns out each of these resurrected women are former witches identified by Cordelia!
Sidney: This episode definitely gave the people what they wanted.
Return to Hotel Cortez
Sidney: I loved that they visited The Cortez and explained it.
Spencer: It actually made sense! I was not expecting to see The Cortez at all and was completely caught off guard. I loved those scenes though, it really made me want to watch Hotel all over again.
Sidney: The story with Cordelia and Queenie broke my heart. I loved seeing March again though as he was one of my favorite Evan Peters characters. I like the way they devoted this episode to expanding the coven world and, most importantly, giving Billy Porter more ways to be on TV
Spencer: Ryan Murphy’s talent for recycling actors is impeccable. In a span of five minutes we got Cheyenne Jackson, Billy Porter from Pose, Jon Jon Briones from The Assassination of Gianni Versace, and the evil raptor doctor form Jurassic Park, B.D. Wong! This is wild!
Sidney: I liked what they did with Langdon. They built up and started to frame the beginning, of the end.
Spencer: Langdon’s Story is very interesting I must say. It really gives me Tom Riddle vibes and I’m into it. My favorite part of his story so far has been the fact that he was raised by a Satanist Kathy Bates. Genius!
Sidney: Which was not Constance so we are really 0-2 so far on theories…
Spencer: Yeah for lack of a better word, we are fucking up in the theory department. However there was an episode tonight so we got something right!
I Need to Speak to Your Manager
Spencer: My favorite scene had to be surrounding Madison’s personal Hell.
Sidney: Yeah, oh yeah. Madison saying “Dicking” spoke to me on a very personal level.
Spencer: I thought you would like that. Being someone who did their time in retail, I could honestly feel anxiety wrapping its grip around my neck as Madison dealt with those customers for all eternity. Though it was comedic in a way, it’s such an awfully dark concept!
Sidney: I have two things that I’ve got observe.
Sidney: Myrtle… she’s alive again, why? I’d like to know
Spencer: I honestly don’t know, and I am afraid to make predictions at this point. Honestly Cordelia probably let her burn and then was like “Nah, I miss her too much” and brought her back. That’s my guess. She is too fabulous of a character to not bring back.
And I Came to Fight
Sidney: This season needs to remember it is American Horror Story, and not another Fox TV X-Men franchise. Because it started to like…drift that way
Spencer: Episode three was a little weird for me and I felt like we were falling off track. But honestly, episode 4 really shined to me and I feel confident about this season. They way forward seems clear and I am freaking ready. I feel alive! The power of The Supreme is watching over us!
Sidney: We shall see! I’m hoping to see more American Horror Story season surprises!
Spencer: Me too! It looks like we are preparing for a witching war. The Supreme against the Anti-Christ. Wow, is it me or does this story feel incredibly relevant right now? Let’s hope the season doesn’t end with a FBI investigation and a vote on a Supreme Court nomination.
Sidney: Oh…Okay…well done!
Sidney: Ryan Murphy must have something on Bates because he convinces her to do some nut-so stuff. Billy Porter remains better than us. Myrtle would have gotten Queenie out of The Cortez. Myrtle would never go to a Department Store, even to rescue a sister. This is going to be a better version of Dark Phoenix, than Fox’s ACTUAL Dark Phoenix.
Spencer: I still can’t find my wig after Myrtle Snow’s dinner jacket clap-back. Is it too late for me to submit the pertaining clap-back as Elizabeth Warren’s campaign slogan? Madison’s personal version of Hell can be experienced in real life, every Sunday at your local Trader Joe’s around 4:00 pm. Going back to The Cortez gave me all the feels I didn’t realize I had. Kathy Bates playing your friendly neighborhood Satanist might be one of my favorite of her roles. Myrtle Snow’s cape could single-handedly resurrect the world from this apocalypse. I have a migraine from head banging so hard to the Coven theme music, I need to go lay down.
Spencer: Well Sidney, the witches might be able to leave the shelter… however, we cannot. Back to our bunks until next week!
Sidney: Mm, diet ice-cube!
The duo now must now head back to their lonely bunks within the fallout shelter. Don’t worry they will be return next week with well… most of their limbs. Thank you for joining Sidney and Spencer for Episode 4 of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Enjoy a preview of next week’s episode below.