American Horror Story Roanoke: A Haunting Conversation

Hello friends of As some of you may remember the Hillary Clinton to my Elizabeth Warren, Sidney Joel used to cover American Horror Story every week. You can check out the reviews here! When  reached for a blurb about his thoughts on this season, the former AHS Correspondent simply shot me a glare that made me question any choice I’ve ever made. It wasn’t until later that I realized I had been weeping ever since. I then knew that it was my responsibility as a resident T.V nerd at to address the fans about this season and why some of us hate and why some love it. Let’s talk about it.

Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr.

So the obvious changes this season are evident within the first millisecond of the show starting. Through the years we have had this really cool theme song with opening credits that get you super hyped. Kind of like the Game of Thrones theme song but… not really. But as seasons 4 and 5 came, they started to remix the theme song and it was kind of disappointing. But this year, they got rid of it all together which was like a punch to the gut.

Then it opens into this … lifetime documentary? I was so confused, I checked my DVR to make sure I recorded the right show. Lets be real, I watch a lot of documentaries like this where people talk about the parasite that took their legs away or a shark attack. I watch a lot of shark attack documentaries okay. I thought that maybe I recorded one of these by accident?! But no, it said “American Horror Story”.

But okay lets keep it going. Mind you, this season also took a weird turn by not announcing the theme, just a s*** ton of teaser trailers. Like one a day to be quite frank. At first I was here for it but then I just started to think that the producers didn’t even know what the theme was which scared me. The perception was that it was a farm, Children of the Corn type theme. But then some leaked pictures came out of the set with the word “Croatoan” carved into a tree. With some research it was evident that this season was going to surround the Roanoke Colony that mysteriously disappeared. Don’t ask me too many questions I gave you a Wikipedia link you heathens. Anyways, that’s what the theme ending up being which is actually a cool theme if you ask me *hides face from Sidney*.

Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr.

Okay lets get my complaints out of the way. First of all, Lily Rabe is being misused once again. She is playing the “real” Shelby while Sarah Paulson is out there playing the fake “Shelby”. Lily needs to be out there doing scary stuff or given a actual lead where she can move around. Sarah Paulson should stay where she is at. But… Cuba Gooding Jr. ? What the actual f**k is this. Okay, I get it. He played an excellent O.J Simpson (if that is possible). But we should not ever let the guy who wanted to sell the orphanage to the Latimores so they can build a “titty bar” in Norbit, play the lead in American Horror Story. I mean every-time I look at him I just see the guy from “Radio”. BOY, bye!

Cuba Gooding Jr. in Radio

Now lets talk about the setting. The theme is perfect. But… why is it that this season feels like its using the same ideas from Murder House…and Hotel.… A haunted building. GROUNDBREAKING. I was really hoping that this season would at least be placed in the past like Asylum and Freak Show. I just… I need to talk to Ryan Murphy about this. We really had no other ideas? At least knock off Twilight before we start reusing ideas for a 3rd time.

Angela Basset

Okay Angela Basset is still flawless though. She really can’t do anything wrong and I am excited to see where her character goes quite honestly. Her acting is perfect. Sarah and Angela are both killing it really.  I know it is quite early  in the season but I am not loving Kathy Bates and I can’t believe I am saying this but… Lady Gaga as well. I just can’t take them seriously when their characters are so cartoonized. Like when Kathy Bates got hit by a car I was so nervous until Kathy Bates looked into the camera. “Oh… it’s just Kathy” Girl! What are you doing out here. Gaga is playing some sort of cave woman, I don’t even know what she is doing yet.

Lady Gaga and Kathy Bates

My last complaint. Remember how I mentioned the show is recycling old ideas? Well everyone welcome back the “Man Bear Pig” that had a short stint on Season 1. Why? This better have some relevance.

Man Bear Pig

Now I know it seems like I hate this show, but I don’t. I love American Horror Story. It is one of my all-time favorite shows. But this season is way weird.  Change is always welcome but not everything at once. It doesn’t feel like the same show. AHS: Hotel was genius in my opinion. It was a great comeback after Freak Show. All of a sudden Freak Show feels like a masterpiece when I watch Roanoke.  I will continue watching Roanoke because I am hopeful that it will come together. Honestly, if I had never seen a season of American Horror Story before… I would think this show is perfect. But unfortunately, I have seen American Horror Story Coven 100 times. It is my bible. So I know that this show has the potential to be amazing. This year we have a great theme, a almost perfect cast, and some things that are actually scary to me! For example, the girl talking to someone we cant see. BYE.  I hope that the show changes my mind. If it does get better by the end of the season, then I will write about the finale. If you don’t hear from me, then hopefully next season.

Lets take a moment of silence for the viewers that AHS lost this season and in hopes that the show shifts back onto the right path so we can have our beautiful show back. Winter is coming.

About Spencer Williams 191 Articles
Spencer is a Designer, Event Planner, and Television Nerd in Los Angeles; not to be confused with his look-alike... Chris Pratt. When Spencer isn't talking about fashion, he spends most of his free time eating burgers, hoarding Funko Pop-Vinyls, and talking your ear off about Game of Thrones.

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