Would you like my advice? Is your man or woman doing you wrong? Family troubles? Need to get something off your chest? I’m here for all of it! Hit me up on SISTERINDICA.COM and your question may be featured in an upcoming DEAR INDIE column!
I’m back with the father of my two youngest kids after a long separation. He proposed to me and my mom hates it because he’s broke. What should I do?”
Congrats on your engagement! With all the awful stuff happening in our world, we could use a LOT more love so thanks for doing your part.
As a child of divorced parents, I didn’t get to spend too much time with my dad. I’m sure you’re reconnection is going to make your two youngest kids pretty happy with the family together again. I’m sure it’ll also take some pressure off of you because lord knows being a single mother is NOT easy. My Mom worked her ass off to provide for and raise three children and it took a toll on her.
Without knowing the history of your relationship with your man (I mean, you did break up before), I can only make assumptions regarding where your mother is coming from. Are her objections solely financial or could she also be afraid you’ll get hurt again?
I know how protective I am of my cats and dog (shout out to Scarlet, Suzy & Timber). I’d rip someone’s face off if they hurt any of my babies. And I only want the best for them – to be happy, healthy and comfortable. Your Mom is feeling that times a million! And while some may think it’s petty to be so caught up in someone’s finances, it’s most likely coming from a place of just wanting your life to be easier. You’re already supporting (at least) two children. If he’s not pulling his monetary weight, is he just going to drain you even more?
We could also be dealing with some old school mentalities – a man should be the provider for his family. She could be thinking: “If he can’t provide for his family, what kind of man is he?” I mean, don’t subscribe that – obviously! Have you SEEN ME?! I’m all about destroying the archaic gender roles society has forced upon us.
My advice: follow your heart, not your wallet and remind your mother that you are the Queen of your household. How things are today may not be what they are tomorrow…and marriages are for richer and poorer. He may find his dream job and be snatching coins left and right one day. As long as you love him and he loves you, anything is possible.
Good luck, lady! And let me know if you need an extra-glamorous bridesmaid. 😉
Your Homegurl for Life,