NS4W Looks at the DC Universe on Film (Part Two)

If you missed Part One, click here!

CD: Right….so how about Shazam, which is rumored to not be tied into the bigger DC universe but on the plus side, does have the People’s Champion, the Brahma Bull. the most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment, The Roc….(*WWE lawyers call and threaten me with a Cease and Desist*)…..er…Dwayne Johnson as the villain of the piece, Black Adam. Thoughts?

PF: I’d sit on his face faster than you can spit on the floor.

SS: Poppy….you need Jesus.

CD: Her gardener? He quit and filed a sexual harassment lawsuit.

PF: No charges were filed!

SS: She’s only allowed to have female serva….err help now. It’s court ordered.

The Rock...er....I mean Black Adam says know your damn role Shazam!
The Rock…er….I mean Black Adam says know your damn role Shazam!

CP: I’ll be honest. I know about jack shit about Shazam. I know he’s a kid who can transform into a badass. Black Adam is the bad guy. I guess Rock likes him and has wanted the role. I like Rock. Dwayne doesn’t impress me much though.

SS: I love the Rock…but I feel this movie might be the wild card in terms of box office. It feels like the Rock is settling for this role just to do a super hero film.

CD: We touched briefly on Green Lantern which seems like it will be rebooted. For my money, I would like to see Mark Strong back as Sinestro. I thought he was great in a movie that sucked aside from him.

PF: He was great in that, and I didn’t hate it like everyone else. There…I said it…(flips everyone the bird).

CD: *speechless*

SS: Poppy, Chiffon and I would like to thank you for your contributions and wish you luck on your future endeavors.

CP: Green Lantern has so much potential. It’s an interesting franchise and all the various rings and things. It’s something that could be spread out successfully for a long time. I think the last movie suffered from the same thing as other films before it…treating it as a comic movie instead of a movie with comic characters. It really depends on the Lantern they go with, I think we need Guy Gardner.

SS: Also, when it comes to Lantern I think this gives DC a big chance to do one thing different than Marvel and that’s have a person of color lead a franchise.

CD: Wait, they made Cyborg white?? Those bastards!

SS: I’m gonna treat Cyborg like Sex and the City 2 and pretend it doesn’t exist.

CD: A John Stewart – Green Lantern would be an awesome move. I really would have rather seen Rock play that role Panda.

SS: Oh how fantastic would that be?

CP: Michael Jai White still needs a proper super hero movie. Though were he younger, Will Smith would been the perfect John Stewart Lantern.

CP: So Sidney, I’m hearing you want Jaden Smith

SS: Panda…don’t make me go Walter on you and tell you what he repeatedly told Donny.

CP: This isn’t Vietnam Sidney, there are rules.

PF: Chiffon, I have a waxing appointment soon, so I have to dash. But…Sidney, darling, I’m like Cher and cockroaches, I’ll be here looooong after you’ve Grindr-ed away. Here’s the thing, and I think it’s the reason why I have so much trouble with the whole “fan boy/girl” mentality. I grew up reading these comic books, day in, day out. I loved them. All of them. To see them come to life on the screen takes me to a place of pure entertainment. I don’t watch them as a critic, I don’t watch them with any sense of cynicism or pre-disposed dislike. I simply am carried away by seeing memories from my childhood and characters that I love doing amazing things on the screen. We live in a world with so little positivity and so much criticism about every little thing; I think when it comes to movies – especially those that fall under the umbrella of fantasy or science fiction, we all need to take a time-out and just have fun. There’s enough real-life bullshit to complain about, and in the end, it’s all make-believe.

CP: *Slow clap for Poppy*

SS: While that’s true and it’s all just make believe, I do believe we as fans have seen enough comic book films now to expect certain levels of quality. I grew up on comics as well and I hate seeing my childhood heroes get a film treatment that isn’t befitting of their quality of awesome. I love a lot of DC stories and characters and when I see how great something like Guardians of the Galaxy or The Dark Knight it tells me that no film is allowed to be any less than that in terms of writing, acting, or storytelling.

CD: Well thank goodness she’s gone! I figured she’d leave once we stopped talking about Wonder Woman.

PF: I heard that.

CD: Your hearing is surprisingly good for a lady of your age.

PF: And your girdle is surprisingly strong for a lady of your…oh…never mind….

CD: Poppy Fields everybody! Since she just left in a flash, that’s the perfect segue to discus…um….the Flash.

CP: Flash…I think this is a prime example of where DC is confusing me. We have a series people seem to love but then are going to introduce movie goers to a whole other Flash theatrical universe. Seems like an odd move.

SS: Exactly! That is my issue with Flash. The debut of The Flash TV show happened last week, the second episode this week, and the day after episode two we are told hey here is a Flash movie coming your way with a different actor. The actor is giving it his all and it shows. He deserves the right to call it his own before we have to accept that a new actor is playing the role. Now, a friend made a good point in that the film Flash isn’t Barry Allen, but doesn’t it make good sense to even see if people care about Flash enough before announcing the movie?

I believe the casting call said, "Looking for a KD Lang type, except a boy."
I believe the cast call said, “Looking for a KD Lang type, except a boy.”

CD: What do we think of Ezra Miller being cast as the Flash? The first pic I saw of him, I thought it was Adore Delano out of drag.

SS: Don’t know enough about him but cool to know a GLBTQ actor is leading a super hero film

CD: *Minor Potential Spoilers Ahead* So if the rumors are to be believed, Brainiac will be the villain in the first Justice League movie and Thano….er….Darkseid will be the villain in the second. My question is, how could they not go with Mister Mxyzptlk as the main villain?

SS: Because DC films aren’t allowed to have a sense of humor.

CP: I think it needs a giant robot spider and Krypto.

CD:So I guess that means no Zan and Jayna?

CP: That would kind of be awesome. They need to have fun.

CD: Haven’t you heard, “Dark and Gritty” is all the rage in Hollywood?

CP: Look at Guardians, they got it. They had a crew of characters most people didn’t know about. No real huge names in it…but, it was fun. DC should try fun (not campy).

SS: Comics are fun and supposed to be engaging…if they take themselves too seriously than they will fail right away. Dark Knight was a serious film but it was engaging and found it’s own way to be entertaining. No part of Man of Steel was like that. It was a schlockfest that routinely failed to make sense, but the actors gave it their all and made their characters work despite awful directing and writing.

CD: Should DC be doing Darkseid? Even though he was created first, won’t moviegoers see him as a second rate Thanos?

SS: No.

CP: I don’t know enough about the DC universe villains aside from Batman’s rogues gallery. I’d seriously have to go to Wikipedia before I could form a proper opinion.

NS4W Consensus: Thanos > Darkseid
NS4W Consensus: Thanos > Darkseid

SS:The minute they show him and his goals people will say “eh…it’s an Avengers rip off.”, despite being created before Thanos was.

PF: Speaking of rip-off…I’m back from my waxing!

CD: Shhh, shhh! She’s back!

SS: Yay?

CD: Anyway, more importantly, why isn’t there a Booster Gold movie? I will answer my own question. Because DC hates me.

SS: I’ve heard they are doing it at some point.

CP: I’ll need you and everyone to explain Booster to me, I don’t get it. Is it like Deadpool? I’m just supposed to like him?

CD: I can’t speak for anyone else Panda but I love Booster Gold because he’s shameless self-promoting ass. I can relate to that.

Booster Gold, who says douchebags can't be super heroes too?
Booster Gold, who says douchebags can’t be super heroes too?

PF: I think that’s something I use to clean the fixtures…Booster Gold. Or rather, Carmenita uses it…

CP: You really have to buff it out or it leaves weird streaks

PF: Weird streaks…sounds like my dear husband Mack and his underwear, bless his heart.

CD: Okay, I guess we can wrap this up then kids. On a scale of 1 to Marvel, how optimistic are we about this DC-verse on film being successful?

PF: Well, since I’m clearly the only DC-pro person here, I’m giving it a very healthy 8…just like my last pool boy!

SS: Me? Totally optimistic. I do feel they will make a ton of money to justify the others but if they are critically not well received, that might bode poorly for the back half of the slate

CP: I haven’t been impressed with any theatrical offerings by DC since Keaton was Batman, but, I think they have a lot of potential. It’s just so hard to put a read on it. Fanboy pockets seem to be near limitless, so, we’re going to keep spending on whatever any of these studios drops.

SS: Luckily for the studios…money means more than reviews.

CD: Well, that pretty much wraps up our look at the upcoming slate of DC comic movies. I guess this is the perfect time to announce that NS4W will be doing an entire week dedicated to the Marvel Film Universe coming soon! Keep your eyes peeled for exciting articles like “Poppy Fields Counts Down the Top 10 Marvel Universe Costumes” and much more! Thanks for reading and be sure to vote in our poll to see which film you’re most excited for!

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About Chiffon Dior 549 Articles
Despite being a drag journalist for over five years, Chiffon only recently realized that she missed a golden opportunity back then to change her drag name to Rhoda Story.

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