Poppy’s Coffee Corner: Episode 14


Poppy’s Coffee Corner: Episode 14.  In which Poppy returns from a hiatus, remarks on her confusion about circuit parties, and describes an unfortunate incident involving a cheese log…


Hello there, Pop Tarts! Right off the bat I would like to apologize for my absence. I’ve been busier than a double-jointed whore during Fleet Week, so I haven’t been able to spend that much time in the coffee shop. Being a chanteuse/showgirl/Southern belle is a busy job, gentle readers, and sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Also, they keep you in rehab much longer than I expected. Anyway.

Today all the baristas are wearing plaid shirts for some sort of marketing promotion. It is all very “lumbersexual,” which seems to be the rage right now. Unfortunately the cute barista on which I have a crush didn’t appreciate it when I asked him to show me his wood.

There’s a lady here right now who is the spitting image of Nicole Kidman. Fortunately, this woman can move her face.


And speaking of people who can’t move their faces – let’s talk about circuit parties for a second. A Facebook friend recently inquired as to why T-Dances are so named. I’ve often wondered the same thing. I’ve always wanted hot tea and finger sandwiches at those things, but the closest I’ve ever gotten was tea-bagged and fingered.

But I digress…here are a few fashion critiques…

A Woman All in Blue just wafted in, and I can’t decide whether she’s a hit or a miss. Her entire ensemble is sky-blue – suede stiletto boots, haute-couture torn skirt, and fussy bolero jacket. She looks as if she would be one of the women featured on the Advanced Style blog, because she’s definitely on the shady side of 60; and she certainly has some sort of style. The overall impact would be much better, however, if she wasn’t wearing a hat that looks like an upturned flower pot.



A Really Cute but Unfortunately Dressed young man is ordering his beverage at the moment. He is wearing a baseball cap, fishnet jeans over multicolored tights that are evocative of the marshmallows in a box of Lucky Charms, a lavender sweatshirt with hearts all over it, and neon orange high-tops. I shit you not, Pop Tarts. He looks like the result of a ménage a trois with a Care Bear, Madonna, and a traffic cone.


Bless his heart.

All these plaid shirts also remind me of the time back in my high school days when I worked as a waitress at the Cracker Barrel. It was a short-lived employment. I was fired for making out with a bus boy behind the giant cheese log. It took me forever to get all the pecans out of my hair.



And with that vivid visual, I am going to sign off for now, Pop Tarts. I will be back very soon though, so stay tuned and stay fabulous!



About Poppy Fields 45 Articles
Poppy Fields is indeed from the Deep South – Alabama, in fact – but don’t hold that against her. As one-half of the cabaret duo, Mack & Poppy, she spends most of her time sewing on rhinestones, rehearsing music, and ogling hot men on the streets of West Hollywood.

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