Racing With Haley: Jersey Justice

Well, girls, this episode was a BIG one. I truly couldn’t believe how this episode went down. I have no real introduction to give, let’s get into it.

The queens returned to the workroom after Gia Gunn‘s elimination. Manila Luzon gave her credit for returning to the show after transitioning, a huge step for future trans contestants, but ultimately her attitude got the best of her. Trinity Taylor revealed that she too would have sent Gia home had she won the lipsynch. She also stated Manila made the right decision to send her home after she had considered sending Valentina packing because she was the bigger competition. Manila did let us all know that if she wins again, the option of giving the biggest competition the chop wasn’t off the table.

It was a new day in the workroom and Valentina came in serving us full yeehaw in yet another hilarious entrance. RuPaul gave us a very Jersey Shore inspired entrance message, hinting at the maxi challenge for the week. It completely went over Monique Heart‘s head, which was half the fun. Ru entered the workroom to share the details for the challenge and to throw a quick bit of shade at Latrice Royale, who has been very open about her past with the law. Latrice, Monet X Change, and Monique would be working a case about a baker making a funky cake for a couple, Manila and Naomi Smalls argued a case about a botched makeover, and Valentina and Trinity had a case of stolen identity. All with a New Jersey twist, starring Michelle Visage, of course.

The challenge is based on improv, which can be a struggle for some queens. Monique insisted Monet have a ‘bootydo’. What is a ‘bootydo’, you may be wondering? It’s when your stomach sticks out more than your booty do. As they practiced, you could tell our Latrice was in trouble. She had a hard time finding her voice with two other loud queens. Manila and Naomi ran through their sketch and Naomi admitted her 11th grade self would be so excited to work with Manila, quickly making us all feel one hundred years old. While Trinity was confident in her ability to play any character, Valentina was only confident in her ability to play up voices. This challenged proved to be an interesting one even in just the prepping phase.

In Michelle’s court, the bailiff is shirtless and the stories are fake. Also, Stacey Lane Matthews is there? Anyway, Manila and Naomi kicked it off and it was absolutely hilarious. They both nailed their characters and even had Michelle laughing. Up next was Monique and Latrice’s battle over a wedding cake. Monique stole the focus, while Latrice sat silent. When she did throw in some jokes, they fell flat. Monet came in as the daughter responsible for writing on the cake. She brought a 40 to court, so I instantly respected and believed her story, though it was pretty hard to follow. Then came Valentina and Trinity, and well, yikes. Trinity didn’t even come prepared with a name for her character. Another case where the jokes fell short and so they looked to physical comedy in an attempt to revive themselves.

It was elimination day and the queens were prepping for the runway where they’d be showcasing their curves and swerves, a padding focused runway. Manila asked Latrice how she thought her team did and she was very confident, while Manila thought she was at risk for falling in the bottom two. Everyone was oddly confident, Valentina also thought she’d win the challenge. Trinity and Valentina told Latrice no one would send her home, while Valentina was quick to say she would send Trinity home if she were in the top and had to pick between her and Latrice. It was a bit rough, being as Trinity fought to save Valentina last week. Can you blame her, though? Latrice is maybe the most loved queen in Drag Race herstory. Sending her home is a Twitter deathwish!

The queens hit the main stage to show off their curves and swerves. Joining RuPaul on the panel were Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, Erica Ash, and Zoe Kravitz. Monique and Manila got the highest praise for both their looks and performances, so they were the top two of the week. Trinity, Naomi, and Valentina were safe. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who gasped at the bottom two. Latrice and Monet found themselves there, having been outshined by Monique.

While the judges recorded ASMR videos, we all cried our eyes out watching Manila and Latrice share their moment backstage. Monet was put in a tough position being in the bottom two with one of the most beloved queens in the game. Valentina went on a rant about how she got negative criticism on the runway, which was weird and out of place. Trinity was again offended by everything, yawn. This whole backstage exchange between the queens was just TOO MUCH FOR ME OKAY.

On the main stage, Manila and Monique performed to a cover of Elton John’s The Bitch is Back by Tina Turner. We even got a video of Elton saying “don’t fuck it up”, which I didn’t know I needed in my life. The lip synch was high energy, just as you’d expect one to be between Manila and Monique. Though Manila fought hard to save Latrice, you could tell Monique had it in the bag. All eyes were on her throughout the performance. Monique won and did what none of us wanted to see; she gave Latrice the chop. First, this show takes Jasmine Masters from us, now THIS?! How will my heart go on? Please give each other words of support in the comments below. We love you Latrice.


Next week, the queens celebrate Lady Bunny for her roast in peace. Also, All Star rules are SUSPENDED?! What do you think that means? Sound off in the comments below, but first, tell me you are sorry for my loss. Of Latrice in the competition, not Lady Bunny. She is in a better place. Thank you.

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About Haley Van Horn 52 Articles
One small brushfire away from completing the Serial Killer Triad, Haley is a hell-raising college student and sports journalist. Calling the suburbs of the gayest city in America home, she's sure to bring it to you every ball.

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