Spencer Williams: Hello friends, welcome back to another tearful edition of “What the Walking Dead”. Tonight we were forced to say goodbye to our hero of 9 years, Rick Grimes. This episode was even more emotional than I thought, yet things are not as bad as it seems. I am happy to say I have brought in some back-up this time as I don’t like to cry alone. Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson canceled on me again so our WERRRK.com boss lady is here, Chiffon Dior everyone!
Chiffon Dior: Blows nose into tissue Sorry, can you hold this?
SW: Ummm….I feel I am contractually obligated to do so. Grabs Chiffon’s tissue
CD: You can probably get something for that on Ebay. So what is this I hear about me being your second choice after Sarah Palin?
SW: No Chiffon, I said Sarah Paulson! You know that one show I write about with Sidney every Wednesday? American Horr…. you know what never mind. Keep it up and I will be sure to say Sarah Palin’s name three times in the mirror.
CD: Let’s talk about the show before you do anything drastic.
Please, Kill Me!
SW: Okay so before we talk about the fact that our main character was blown off a bridge, we should discuss the Maggie vs. Negan scene. Did this scene go down as expected, Chiffon?
CD: It did not. I always assume that Negan is scheming. I didn’t expect him to just be completely broken…..or to have grown a beard like Gandalf in this time.
SW: Ha! He was giving me a Gandalf vibe, but also like Dumbledore drinking that poison from The Half-Blood Prince. Wow, that was a Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings reference in one statement. Bonus points. Honestly though, I was waiting for Negan to jump up and kill Maggie at any second. It wasn’t until the door locked that I took a sigh of relief.
CD: Ease up on the nerd stuff Spencer.
SW: Sorry, I can’t help it. Do you think Maggie made the right choice in letting him live?
CD: Well I have this awful feeling they’re going to try and redeem Negan, to make him into one of the team so to speak. But it’s not possible, he killed Han Solo! He’s not redeemable! Wait, sorry. That’s Star Wars Episode 9/ Kylo Ren talk. But yeah, he murdered Glenn and Abraham. Negan honestly deserves a horrible ending but I don’t think he will get it.
SW: Hey, ease up on the nerd stuff! It’s a difficult thing, because we all hate Negan. But I think it is safe to say we all like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I believe it should not have even been up to Maggie, because Rick should have killed him last season. I, however, do not want Jeffrey to leave the show though….
CD: Plus there was that weird dream scene a while back with him and Judith.
SW: Awww yes, I forgot about that scene. Honestly, I just don’t see how Maggie could even exist with Negan outside of that cell. He will have to escape somehow.
CD: I might suggest counseling. Dr. Phil if he’s still alive at this point in the apocalypse could be their only hope.
SW: Thank you Dr.Chiffon.
The Very Long Fall of Rick Grimes
SW: Alright so let’s talk about this nightmare. Basically the main portion of this episode was spent watching Rick bleed out, and hallucinate. Easy to watch?
CD: Oh sure. Piece of cake. I mean who doesn’t like to alternate between being nauseous and sobbing? I’m talking about watching this episode, not my last date mind you…
SW: Oh thank you for clarifying, I was starting to feel nauseous again… Yeah I definitely felt like I was going to be sick watching Rick pull himself off of that stake. But listening to blood spew out of Rick the whole episode was just wrong.
CD: I mean, he should have bled out multiple times this episode right?
SW: I think that is how blood works, yeah? What made this whole experience harder was all of the flashbacks.
CD: First up was Rick sitting in a car with The Punisher.
SW: Eating a burger….
CD: What kind of burger do you think they got down there in Georgia, Hardee’s?
SW: I don’t know what a Hardee’s is, but it kind of looked like a product of the Super Burger by my house. Oh god, I am hungry again, thanks a lot Chiffon.
CD: It seems like we got the first official confirmation that Judith might be Shane’s daughter. I had always assumed that, how about you?
SW: HA! I cackled so loud when ghostly Shane made that comment. It can’t get any more official than that right? I always believed she was Shane’s daughter, but now I am confident.
CD: The next apparition though, I was not ready for.
SW: Yeah that was pretty powerful. Scott Wilson came back into his role as Hershel and I gave in to the tears.
CD: I like that he got his leg back in the afterlife.
SW: Yeah that scene could not have been any more pure. They created an excellent tribute to Scott without even knowing it.
CD: That was the first scene this episode that had me sobbing like the girl watching the ending of Rogue One.
SW: Oh wow, two Star Wars references so far. You are going for the gold aren’t you? I cried and it just makes me just feel so proud of this show and all of the good memories it has given us. I will miss Scott Wilson dearly.
CD: It was rough hearing Rick apologize to him but Hershel set him straight.
SW: For sure. Then lastly we saw Sonequa Martin-Green come back as Sasha. For me her return made me feel happier as opposed to sad.
CD: So the piles of dead bodies they were standing screams happy to you Spencer? You must have loved Superman and Lois Lane making out in front of the half destroyed city of Metropolis at the end of Man of Steel.
SW: Oh did I mention I was covering the bottom half of my screen? just pretend the bodies aren’t there and he is surrounded by puppies.
CD: You did not.
SW: Rick somehow makes it over to the bridge and to no one’s surprise except Rick’s… the bridge is holding.
CD: I think he was expecting shoddy craftsmanship.
SW: Yeah turns out they did a pretty good job! Well done everyone!
CD: I assumed they were malnourished and surly after all of Maggie’s demands.
SW: Throughout the episode, Rick is rambling about trying to find his family. For me, I thought they were just sound bites from the first two episodes when Rick was looking for Laurie and Carl. But then the entire cast appears from the trees trying to save Rick and divert the herd. Then the moment we were all dreading finally came with Rick’s final words…. “I found them”.
CD: Maybe I missed it though, why did there just happen to be dynamite on the bridge?
SW: Honestly I don’t know. I am pretty sure I somewhat remember them finding a bunch of dynamite but I still don’t get why it was on the bridge. But let’s put aside the potential plot holes and focus on watching Rick get blown to pieces…. or did we?
CD: Turns out, we did not. Apparently Rick Grimes is tougher than a two dollar steak!
SW: Mmm… steak! When Rick said “I found them”, I lost it but even worse was watching Michonne scream and Daryl cry. grabs another tissue
CD: This episode really tugged on ALL the heartstrings.
SW: Why would they do this to us? Rick has been a part of our lives for the past nine years. Obama was still president!
CD: So the zombie apocalypse was his fault? Thanks Obama!
SW: That would explain Hillary’s emails! But then our eyes turn to Jadis. Good news I suppose?
CD: I’m pretty sure if all my years of watching comic book movies mean anything, some seemingly benevolent entity is taking him to their headquarters and will rebuild Rick and give him all kinds of powers but it will turn out they’re evil and want to use him as an assassin or something.
SW: The zombie apocalypse equivalent of The Winter Soldier?
CD: I honestly have no clue but I am glad Rick isn’t dead.
SW: Me too. It’s comforting to know that he is still out there somewhere, kicking ass. I feel like I can sleep easier tonight with that. Plus on The Talking Dead, they announced some exciting news… Rick’s story will continue! They are planning on creating a Rick Grimes film trilogy for AMC!
CD: Wait, so he’s not getting his own Rick Grimes podcast?
SW: Sadly, I don’t think so. Perhaps this is our chance to get cast in our first movie.
CD: Slow down there killer.
SW: Okay, so Rick is gone, but not dead. Either way, Rick will no longer appear on The Walking Dead. Chiffon, any last words in regards to Rick?
CD: I still think it was really messed up that he fell in love with his best friend’s wife and did a whole big presentation at her door on Christmas Eve explaining why he wasn’t in love with her anymore and then she ran out and kissed him anyway.
SW: Love Actually folks, now available on VHS tape!
CD: I think you just called me old.
SW: No, of course not.
SW: So we got a glimpse of the next three episodes. First of all, I wish this was the mid-season finale because I need a mental health break. Second, a six year time jump! Carol had long hair! Michonne is still badass, and Judith is well, becoming one of her dads! What are your predictions for the rest of the season Chiffon?
CD: I’m not sure what happens next but what the hell was up with that walker talking??
SW: Yeah that was a bit frightening and I’m not sure it was for the right reasons. The walkers are supposedly evolving?
CD: Well that can’t be good. I’m also not sure how creatures who are mostly mush and guts can evolve though. Seems like fake news if you ask me. Still probably smarter than your average Trump supporter though.
SW: Yeah I’m not buying it. However, I trust Greg Nicotero has a handle on what’s going on here. He was just on that History of Horror show saying he doesn’t agree with the notion ‘running zombies’. So I’m sure he must have some sort of opinion on TALKING zombies.
CD: It doesn’t really matter because Judith “Lil’ Ass-Kicker” Grimes has finally entered the fray so those talking zombies are toast regardless.
SW: You think Lil Ass-Kicker is going to be scary? What about Carol after she has apparently evolved into an Elven Warrior? These zombies don’t stand a chance.
CD: I’m not so sure how I feel about long haired Carol if we’re being perfectly honest. De-mulleted Eugene is a win though.
SW: Hey, she is still alive. That is all I care about. Want to know what’s better than a de-mulleted Eugene? A dead Eugene.
SW: Negan having a mental breakdown in front of Maggie was my most relate-able moment to him. Ricks horse is the true enemy of the people. I am totally not squeamish, I can handle gore very well..OH GOD I can hear the blood gushing out of him grabs trash can. I feel personally attacked by the Punisher’s burger. If I was already feeling weak, the Scott Wilson appearance was the final K.O punch. No jokes here, I am really happy that Rick went down as he true hero we fell in love with so many years ago. Watching Daryl cry is easily one of the worst moments of 2018. Damn this time jump just snatched my wig off, but apparently put on Carols. I am positive Carol is slowly becoming an Elf and I am here for it. When can I pre-order my Judith Grimes Funko POP Vinyl?
CD: Rick is screwed. Rick escapes. Rick bleeds. Rick hallucinates. Rick escapes. Rick bleeds some more. Rick hallucinates. Chiffon cries. Rick escapes. Rick keeps bleeding. Rick hallucinates. Rick decides to lure walkers to bridge. Bridge holds. Rick hallucinates again. Rick almost died but Daryl saves him. Rick blows the bridge anyway. Rick dies in the explosion. Rick doesn’t actually die and gets choppered away like it’s the finale of MASH. Time jump. Enter Judith. Now that we got through all that be sure to vote tomorrow or Spencer and Sidney are going to come eat all your food and drink all your vodka so go vote! Goodbye and good night!
SW: Well my friends, pick up your tissues. We must now go back out into the world and be strong for Rick. Perhaps now would be a good time to put together your voting plan for tomorrow’s election, yes? Thank you to Chiffon for joining us, it was uh… well fun?
CD: The pleasure was all yours.
SW: Alright, you are excused to go play Red Dead Redemption 2 some more…
CD: Did you get the Arabian horse yet??
SW: No Chiffon, I am too busy being an outstanding citizen of the law… Oh did I mention that you all need to GO VOTE tomorrow?